Q: Why was the blonde afraid to have phone sex?
A: Because the condom wouldn't fit over the phone.
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A blonde was at home watching TV with her friends when she heard a noise. She ran out just in time to see a thief drive off in her car.
"Did you see their face?" her friends asked when she came back inside.
"No, but it's okay, I got the license plate number!"
Q: How did the blonde kill her toy poodle?
A: Trying to put batteries in it.
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Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven?
A: She didn't know what one came first.
Boy1: A blonde and brunette are on the top of a building. Who falls off first?
Boy2: The blonde?
Boy1: No, she has to ask for directions on how.
There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, who were all stranded on an island.
One day they found a genie and he said he would grant them three wishes.
All three of them agreed that each of them would get one wish each.
The brunette said, "I wish I was home in my bed and that this never happened."
and poof, her wish was granted.
The redhead said, "I wish that I was at home in my bed and this never happened."
and poof, her wish was granted.
Then the blond said, "I wish my friends were here with me."
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
A blonde walked into her final exam very nervous.
But when she received the test, she was relieved to find out that it was a True or False exam.
Immediately, she reached into her purse and pulled out a coin.
Each time she flipped the coin she would write down an answer. "What are you doing?" the professor asked her.
"I'm figuring out the answers," the blonde replied.
To this, the professor just rolled his eyes and looked away.
When she was done, the professor announced that there were five minutes left to go.
"Oh my god!" she said in an excited voice, and started to flip the coin as fast as possible.
What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run, 'cause she's got a grenade in her mouth!
A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."
The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"
The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck. He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours."
"All right. How long do you need them?"
The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check."
After a while, the customer returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."