Joke #5750

Q: Why was the blonde afraid to have phone sex? A: Because the condom wouldn't fit over the phone.
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: blonde

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What did the blonde say when she found out that she was pregnant? I hope it's not mine.
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has 76.53 % from 166 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde complains to a brunette friend that her Internet is down. The brunette friend offers to let the blonde check her e-mail at her house. "That's OK," says the blonde. "Why don't you check it and forward me what I got?"
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice. When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: “There are no fish in there”. So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there. So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there. So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her. “How do you know there are no fish there?” asks the blonde. So the man cooly says “Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you’re going to have to pay for those holes.”
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has 70.33 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: blonde, fish, sport
Blonde Logic January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..."duh"...bottles won't fit in typewriter! March - Got excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months...box said "2-4 years!" April - Trapped on escalator for hours...power went out! May - Tried to make Kool-Aid...8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets! June - Tried to go water skiing...couldn't find a lake with a slope. July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition...learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms! August - Got locked out of car in rain storm...car swamped, because top was down. September - The capital of California is "C"...isn't it? October - Hate M & M's...they are so hard to peel. November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days...instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108! December - Couldn't call 911..."duh"...there's no "eleven" button on the phone! What a year!
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has 82.52 % from 251 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Why did the blonde have empty beer cans in her fridge? For people who don't drink.
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists? A: The rest are hunting peckers.
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has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: blonde, hunting
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working? A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, stupid
Q: How did the blonde die at the baseball game? A: She drowned during the wave.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: blonde
On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet. The blonde asked, “How am I supposed to know when I’m at 300 feet?” “That’s a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground.” After pondering his answer, she asked, “What happens if there’s no one there I know?”
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has 84.60 % from 249 votes. More jokes about: blonde
This blonde cop stops a blonde driver and asks for identification. The blonde driver looks all around in her purse and can’t find her license. “I must have left it at home, officer.” “Well, do you have any kind of identification on you?” asks the cop. The blonde takes out a pocket mirror and says, “I do have this picture of me.” “Let me see it,” says the cop. She holds up the mirror and looks in it. Then she says, “Sorry. If I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn’t have stopped you."
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: blonde, cop