Joke #5761

Ben asks his new girlfriend for a hand job. "Ive never done that" she says, "what do I do ?" "Well" replies Ben, "remember when you were a kid and you'd shake a coke bottle and spray your brother with it ... that's what you do." She nods, so he pulls his manhood out and she grabs hold of it and starts shaking it. A minute later, he has tears running down his face, snot flowing from his nose and wax flying from his ears. She asks 'Whats wrong ?' Ben cries "TAKE YOUR FUCKING THUMB OFF THE END!"
Vote: has 83.32 % from 297 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench. The little girl says "Mommy what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies "Ummm... they are making cakes. now come on, we'll go to the Zoo" At the Zoo, the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother "What are they doing?" And her mother replies with the same response, "They are making cakes. Thats it we're going home" The next day the girl says to her mother "Mommy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the living room last night, weren't you?" Shocked, the Mother says, "What? How do you know?" She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."
Vote: has 69.99 % from 75 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
Vote: has 34.19 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, celebrity, dirty, drug, music
A father was advising his son: "If you want to have a big and strong dick in future you have to eat more walnuts." Suddenly son's mother by an angry face shouted: "Why when you were child did'nt eat enough walnut yourself?"
Vote: has 80.86 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, dad, dirty, family, kids
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
Vote: has 49.30 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty
Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
Vote: has 61.59 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Q: Why did the man put condoms on his ears during sex? A: He didn't want to get hearing aids.
Vote: has 59.41 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Happy Father's Day to someome who's been completely replaced in his marriage by Fifty Shades of Grey.
Vote: has 38.49 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, Fathers day, marriage, sex
The fingers of my girlfriend were in my pants; I asked her "Is it thick?" She said "yes dear." Again I asked: "Is it warm?" She replied: "yes honey." Then I asked: "Is it soft?" She said, "yes of course." "It is my shit!" I told her.
Vote: has 74.80 % from 95 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, relationship, sex
Q: How big are the pastro's beds? A: Oh c'mon, it knows every little kid.
Vote: has 35.28 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, kids, religious, sex
What is the difference between a joystick and a man's d**k? A joystick does its job.
Vote: has 44.74 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex