Ben asks his new girlfriend for a hand job.
"Ive never done that" she says, "what do I do ?"
"Well" replies Ben, "remember when you were a kid and you'd shake a coke bottle and spray your brother with it ... that's what you do."
She nods, so he pulls his manhood out and she grabs hold of it and starts shaking it.
A minute later, he has tears running down his face, snot flowing from his nose and wax flying from his ears.
She asks 'Whats wrong ?'
Ben cries "TAKE YOUR FUCKING THUMB OFF THE END!" 
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A rich 40 year-old American woman decided to get married, but she wanted her husband to be a virgin and to never had been with a woman all of his life.
After some years of pointless searching, she didn’t found anyone with this description and forced to give an ad to the paper.
A month later, she met with an Australian man who had never been with a woman before in his life and she married him immediately.
On the first night of their wedding and before they lay down, she went for a quick fresh up and then went back to the bedroom, happy.
When she entered the room she stood steal...
She saw her husband naked to the center of the room and all the furniture on the corner of the room.
"But.. What happened?" asked the woman obviously shocked.
"Look.. I’ve never been with a woman, but if it’s the same as with the kangaroo, then I’ll need the whole room to catch you!"
There once was a girl named Pinkie who desired to have a little inky,
when the notion of the motion was planted,
in her dinky little head.
With her butt in the air,
while the man in the sidecar tattooed her derriere 100 miles per hour down I 45 to bike fest.
Drunk and stupid and would not listen,
smeared beyond recognition,
she said it was Tinker Bell but we couldn't tell O well.
Don't ever let your girl talk to another guy about her problems; a shoulder to cry on, becomes a dick to ride on.
Why did the semen cross the road?
Because I wore the wrong sock today.
Vote:
Two friends talk:
"Hi, what are you doing?"
"Not much, writing a Valentine's Day greeting card."
"Why are you writing it with your left hand? Are you left-handed?"
"No, I just can't let my right hand to see it. It's a surprise for it."
Vote:
Q: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a dog have in common?
A: Wet noses.
Yo mama so fat, when your dad tried eating your mom's pussy his head stuck in.
Q: What do men and garbage bags have in common?
A: Black are bigger than white.
Vote:
Joke has 58.20 % from 238 votes. More jokes about: black people, dirty, insulting, racist, white people
Once a blonde wanted to go to her boyfriend's home.
Her mom advised her: "My sweet whenever your boy friend wanted to touch your pants tell him there is a hot oven so your hand will burn."
Next day her mom asked her daughter: "Had you a good day?"
The blonde answered: "It was the best day in my life because when my boyfriend touched my pants I told him: 'There is a hot oven and your hand would damage!' But he urged me that I've one hot dog and I wanna to cook it for several times he put his hot dog in my pants and then he put it in my mouth for confident whether it has been cooked or not."