Joke #5783

Home is where the wifi connects automatically.
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Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, they just declare darkness the standard!
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How do insects communicate? By bee mail.
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99 little bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code, 1 bug fixed... Compile again, 100 little bugs in the code.
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Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in a vivid display, an angelic chorus pouring from the speakers. Satan is astonished, ‘How did he manage that?’ God replies, ‘You might have lost everything, but Jesus saves.’
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I needed to quickly run a SQL command to update a single row in an Oracle DB table at work. To my horror, it came back with –2,193,674 rows affected.
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Yo mama's so fat when she made a YouTube account the entire network crashed.
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Q: Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses? A: Because they don't C#.
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Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
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How can you tell which one of your friends has the new iPhone 6 plus? Don't worry, they'll let you know.
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Smash forehead on keyboard to continue…
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