Joke #5783

Home is where the wifi connects automatically.
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How many social media marketers does it take to change a light bulb? It’s not about the change - it’s about engaging people in conversations about the light bulb change.
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Q: What do computers and air conditions have in common? A: They're both become useless when you open windows.
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An artist, a lawyer, and a programmer are discussing the merits of a mistress. The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered. The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce and bankruptcy. The programmer says, ‘It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. My wife thinks I’m with my mistress. My mistress thinks I’m home with my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!’
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What is a cursor? Someone having computer problems.
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A press release: "Yesterday, for the first time a hacker was convicted of network penetration and went to jail to serve a 12 years sentence. According to the data of the central computer of the police, the hacker goes to liberty the day after tomorrow because of expiration of the sentence."
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Computer users are divided into three types: novice, intermediate and expert. Novice users: people who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer. Intermediate users: people who don’t know how to fix their computer after they’ve just pressed a key that broke it. Expert users: people who break other people’s computers.
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Q: My shift keys have little arrows on them. Does that mean the *real* shift keys are located above them, and these keys are just little signs to point them out? A: Nope, they're the Real McCoy. The little arrows mean "up", as in "look up at the screen". Your keyboard is telling you to learn to touch type and quit staring at your fingers.
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UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
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Girlfriend pregnant error... Abort, Marry, Ignore?
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Bill Gates is judged for bigamy. He says: If you live with two women’s it does not mean bigamy, it means multitasking.
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