Joke #5793

I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: men

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There were three guys in a bar. Two are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives. The third remains silent. After a while, one of the first two turned to the third and says, "Well... what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?" "Well, on our honeymoon, I made damn sure my wife came to me on her hands and knees," he bragged and took another sip of beer. His friends were amazed! "What happened then?" they asked, almost in unison." "Well, then she said, "Get the hell out from under that bed and fight like a man!" he admitted.
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has 76.41 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: men
How do you know if a man is lying? His lips are moving!
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has 26.16 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: men
Q: Why the men's voice is louder than women? A: men have an antenna!
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has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, men, women
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
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has 77.53 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, husband, men, time
A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink rapidly. “Is everything okay, pal?”, the bartender asks. “My wife and I got into a fight and she said she isn’t talking to me for a month!”. Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says, “Well, maybe that’s kind of a good thing. You know, a little peace and quiet?” “Yeah. But today is the last day”.
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has 75.96 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: bar, bartender, drunk, men
How can you tell if a man is lying? You can see his lips moving.
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has 60.40 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: men
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
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has 65.00 % from 194 votes. More jokes about: food, men, sex, time, women
Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men? A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, men, sex
A guy was going to Texas and when he went on the train he said, "Ohh my god Texas chairs are really big." He went to a bar he asked for a bear and when the bar tender gave him the mug of bear the guy said, "Wooww Texas mugs are really big." Later he asked the bar tender were is the bathroom and the bar tender said, "Strait on your right." But the guy went on his left and when he entered the room he slipped and feel in the swimming pool and said, "Don't flush don't flush!"
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
Q. How do men define a long-term relationship? A. A second date.
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has 43.63 % from 5 votes. More jokes about: men