Joke #7888

What's the difference between a man and an ox? Fifteen pounds and a six-pack.

A policeman pulled a car over and told the driver he had won $5,000 dollars in the seatbelt competition. "What are you going to do with the money?" asked the policeman. "Well, I guess I'm going to get a drivers license", he answered. "Oh, don't listen to him," said a woman in the passenger seat, "He's a smart aleck when he's drunk." Then the guy in the backseat said, "I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car." At that moment there was a knock from the trunk and a voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"

This french guy he wants to learn English. So one day he goes to an airport to learn "take off". Then he goes to the zoo to learn "zebra". Then he goes to the hospital "baby" So one day he walks up too a hot girl on a beach in a bikini and he said "Take off zebra baby" (take off the bra baby).

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill. "Here’s that $20 I owe you," he says.

Two hunters shot a deer, and were dragging him to the car by the hind leg, which was difficult because the other legs kept snagging in the brush. "Chet, I've got an idea, I think we are doing this wrong. Let's try dragging him by the horns, like we were advised by the ammo-store salesman." "OK," says Ivan. After a while, Ivan says, "I think this is a lot better because his legs fold up and don't get caught in the brush, but we seem to be getting farther from the car."

Ones the bus was full of people. A man looks at a lovely girl, she looks at him, he smiled, she did so, he told her get off at the next station, she did, he took her place.

What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called? The man.

A burglar breaks into a house and is quietly and expertly collecting valuables in his bag when he hears a voice: "Jesus is watching you."

A man visits his doctor with celery stalks stuck in each ear and a carrot stick up each nostril. He mumbles, "Doc, I'm just not feeling well." The doctor replies, "Maybe you're not eating right."

There is a beautiful desert island in the middle of nowhere where the following people are stranded: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman 2 French men and 1 French woman 2 German men and 1 German woman 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman 2 English men and 1 English woman 2 Macedonian men and 1 Macedonian woman. One month later on this beautiful desert island in the middle of nowhere... The first Italian man killed the other for the Italian woman. The 2 French men and the French woman are living happily together in a "menage a trois". The 2 German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman. The 2 Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them. The 2 English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman. The Macedonian men took one look at the endless ocean, one look at the Macedonian woman and started swimming.