Q. What do you call a sensitive, intelligent man? A. An oxymoron.
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
What's the quickest way to lose 190 pounds of ugly fat? Divorce him.
Question: Why do men fart more than women? Answer: Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.
What's the difference between a man and an ox? Fifteen pounds and a six-pack.
Why does a man prefer blondes? Men always like intellectual company.
Men are like buses. One comes every 15 minutes.
When you have a man staring at a naked Playboy model, be sure that he doesn’t wonder if she knows cooking, or if she plays piano or if she has a nice personality either!
What do men and sperm have in common? They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
A hubby is having a short conversation with his wife. See dear, if you got home early from work one day and you found me pounding on another woman, this would be called an awkward situation! So its the same honey, if you came home early from work and found me in bed with another man? No darling, you are now confused and mixing the awkward situation with proper beating!
How do men sort their laundry? "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".