Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it?
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Get to know your mate.
If there's something you need to know about him, just ask him right up front.
And choose the right moment because the fellas don't like opening up.
Like, after intimacy, turn around, look him in his eye and say, "I've been wanting to know, what's your name?"
A guy goes in for a job interview and sits down with the boss.
The boss asks him, "What do you think is your worst quality?"
The man says "I'm probably too honest."
The boss says, "That's not a bad thing, I think being honest is a good quality."
The man replies, "I don't give a shttp://unijokes.com/admin/h*t what you think!"
1st Eskimo: "Where did your mother come from?"
2nd Eskimo: "Alaska."
1st Eskimo: "Don’t bother, I’ll ask her myself!"
Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
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A Russian captain is trying to explain to his comrades the effects of atomic bombs:
"Now, imagine 20 no, 40, no... a 100 cases of vodka and noone to drink them!"
The longer I stay at home, the more homeless I look.
A guy walks into a bar, sits down and has a drink.
Suddenly, a man hollers at him, "I screwed your mom last night!"
Disturbed, the man tries to ignore him.
Again, he hears, "Your mom was good in bed last night!"
Again, he tries to ignore it.
The man is just about to speak again but the guy stops him and says, "Dad, go home, you're drunk!"
How long does it take a Mexican to build a, holy shit they're done!
A girl walks into a grocery store and asks the stock boy if he has any nuts.
The guy says, "No, ma'am."
She says, "Well, do you have any dates?"
And he says, "Ma'am, if I don't have nuts, do you really expect me to have dates?"