Joke #5794

Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it?
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You know what I was thinking about right now? What it would be like to have six fingers....high fives would be different.
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At the grammy awards Beyonce said to Justin Bieber, "What song would u sing of mine justin?" Justin said, "If I were a boy."
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What do you call an intelligent man in America? A tourist.
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A patient comes to a doctor, who asks him: - Do you smoke? - No. - Do you drink? - No. - Do you eat fast food? - No. - Don't worry, I'll find something anyways...
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It's not the dress that makes you look fat. It's the fat.
Vote: has 79.38 % from 123 votes. Send joke:

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Get to know your mate. If there's something you need to know about him, just ask him right up front. And choose the right moment because the fellas don't like opening up. Like, after intimacy, turn around, look him in his eye and say, "I've been wanting to know, what's your name?"
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

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Baby, baby, baby ooh! Mom: *walks in* Are you listening to Justin Bieber? Daughter: No, I'm watching porn. Mom: Oh, thank goodness.
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An old couple celebrates their 50th wedding anniversary in their home. "Just think," the old man says, "we were sitting here at this same breakfast table, naked as jaybirds, 50 years ago." "Well," the old lady snickers, "what do you say, should we get naked?" The two immediately strip to the buff and sit back down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady says slyly, "My breasts burn for you now as they did 50 years ago." "I'm not surprised," replies the old man. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!"
Vote: has 82.20 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

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A fat lady (To a health expert): "Give me some advice that can reduce my fatness." Health expert: "Okay. You must move your head to the right and the left at a particular time." Fat lady: "At which particular time?" Health expert: "Whenever anybody asks you to eat."
Vote: has 81.65 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

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Define "Egghead": What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

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