My girlfriend came out of the shower and said, "I shaved my pussy you know what that means?"
I said, "Yeah the fucking drain is clogged again."
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How do lesbians handle their liquor?
By the ears.
(Lick her)
Yo momma is so fat, that when NASA put her on the moon, her breasts were the only things bouncing... just like on earth.
I would kick you straight in the vagina...
If I wasn't afraid of losing my shoe.
Q: What did the seal say when found nuts in the sea?
A: "Look I found deep nuts."
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Mickey Mouse is having a nasty divorce with Minnie Mouse.
Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation.
"I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane..."
Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's fucking goofy!"
Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?
A: Gee, we really do taste like chicken!
A lady says to the psychiatrist, "I think I might be a nymphomaniac."
He says, "I'll see what I can do to help you. My fee is eighty dollars an hour."
She says, "How much for all night?"
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"
Getting married is like buying a dishwasher.
You'll never have to do it by hand again.
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