Chuck Norris dosen't get lost... Everything around him is in the wrong place!
Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
When Chuck Norris talks, people listen. When he doesn't, people still listen.
Chuck Norris can't be racist, because to him there are no people, just light and dark targets.
Chuck Norris gave birth to himself because nobody else is capable (or could even live) to give birth to Chuck Norris.
Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot tell Chuck Norris to "get down!"
Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
Chuck Norris "Caught 'Em All " twice.
Chuck Norris made Newton write 3 laws of physics just to break them... he was having a boring weekend.
Chuck Norris made the universe... out of his snot and left kidney.