Chuck Norris dosen't get lost... Everything around him is in the wrong place!
Lehman Brothers owed Chuck Norris a fiver. When he asked for payback, well, you know the rest.
Chuck Norris' free advice is worth a fortune.
When someone is in trouble it's a job for Superman, when Superman is in trouble it's a job for Chuck Norris.
It's a proven fact that you will go blind faster staring at a picture of Chuck Norris than you would staring at the sun.
Chuck Norris once went to practice his golf swing at a driving range... his golf balls are now known as stars!
Bears only poop in the woods when Chuck Norris says its ok..
Chuck Norris knows how to kill you in more ways than you know how to die.
Chuck Norris won one million dollars gambling playing Solitaire.
Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
When Chuck Norris went to Easter island, he couldn't understand why other tourists kept asking him to pose for photos next to the stone monoliths.