Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel.
Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
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The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"
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Chuck Norris can alphabetize m&m's
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Show me a man with a nub for an index finger, and I'll show you a man that asked Chuck Norris to "Pull my Finger"
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Chuck Norris does not wear a condom.
Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris does not need guns to win, he only uses them to fight fairly.
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A meteor did not kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just went on a hunting trip.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with his gun over his pillow.
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Chuck Norris once shaved his beard.
People now call it Bigfoot.
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Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar.
The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
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Chuck Norris flosses with dynamite wick.
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