Joke #5834

There was a boy watching tv with his parents. A sex scene comes on. The boy asks what the people are doing. The mom said "they were just making a cake." The boy goes"oh yea, I saw u and daddy making a cake yesterday and I Licked up all the icing."

In the morning Little Johnny says to his father, "Daddy last night I had my first s*xual encounter." His father looks at him proudly and says, "When are you planniing to do it again?" "I don't know daddy ever since it happened my ass has been hurting like crazy."

Knock Knock. Who's There? Justin. Justin who? Your justin time to wipe my ass!

There was three boys called Zip, Dick and Piss They were in class and their teacher went out to make a phone call Right then Zip jumped on the table Dick jumped in the teachers chair And Piss was punchin everyone in sight 3 minutes later the teacher back in and said Zip down Dick out and Piss in the corner.

If you're feeling down, I can feel you up.

This guy from up north just up and one day moved down south to start himself a farm. He came across this man and asked him where he could get a good donkey to pull a cart and plow. The man said I've got just what you need. Only thing is down here we don't call them donkeys we call them an ass. He said when this ass stops you'll have to get off the cart and slap them to get it going again. The northern man thanks him and heads on his way. He comes up to a man seeking chickens. He says to the man, I'd like to buy a rooster and a hen. The guy sai d sure thing but down here we don't call em roosters and hens. We call them a cock and a pullet. The man from up north says ok, thanks the man and is on his way. He going along in his cart when his donkey stops in the middle of the road. He remembers what the man said he had to do to get it going. Just then a lady is walking by. So he walks up to her and says, "excuse me miss, but will you hold my cock and pullet while I slap my ass."

Kamasutra says: If you suck one nipple, the women herself offers the other one. And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!

Vaginas are like weather, when it's wet, it's time to go inside.

A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Bulgarian businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating. She says, "What the hell do you guys think you are doing?" One of the Bulgarian men says, "Can't you see? Ve arrrre all verrry, verrry hoongry." The waitress makes a stroking motion and says, "So how is whacking-off in the middle of the restaurant going to help that situation??" One of the other businessmen replies: "The menu say, FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!"

A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perked up and said, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!" "What a coincidence" the farmer said. "This is a special day for me, I am celebrating."  "This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating," said the woman. "What a coincidence!" said the farmer.  As they clinked glasses he added, "What are you celebrating?" "My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynaecologist told me that I am pregnant!" "What a coincidence!" said the man.  "I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs." "That's great!" said the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?" "I used a different ****," he replied. The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said, "What a coincidence!"

Three women were debating about how wide their pussy are. The first one said: "When my husband makes sex he puts his penis and his testicles in my pussy." The second lady said: "Wooo when we are in bed my husband puts his hand and his arm in mine." It was the turn of the third woman that pointed to her pussy and said: Jimy; Jimy come out, please."