Joke #5869

Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
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A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, “When did you bag him?” The host said proudly, “That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my ex-wife.” “What’s he stuffed with,” asked the visiting hunter. “My ex-wife” replied the hunter.
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First Cannibal: "Who was that girl I saw you with last night?" Second Cannibal: "That was no girl, that was my supper."
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How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head.
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What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan.
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Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs? An invalid.
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And these kids do not deserve a present from me, because they have not been eating well this year, - said Santa Claus, flying over the starving kids in Sudan.
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There are 3 men on a plane a Mexican an American and a Russian the Mexican says "I hate my country!" And throughs a soup out the window the American says "I hate my country" and throughs a pie out the window. The Russian says "I hate my country!" And throughs a bomb out the window. Then the plane lands and the Mexican sees a kid crying the Mexican says "what's wrong kid?" The kid says "a soup fell on my mom's head and she burnt to death." "I didn't do that" says the Mexican. The American was walking and saw a kid crying "what's wrong kid?" The kid says "my mom was driving and a pie fell on her windshield and drove off a cliff cause she couldn't see!" "I didn't do that" says the American. Then the Russian gets off the plane and saw a kid laughing his head off. The Russian says "what's so funny?" The kid says " daddy farted and the house went BOOM BOOM!"
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A single car crash kills a Mexican family. 15 people died.
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Q: Why do old Jews have outhouses? A: Because their afraid of the showers.
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How can you help a starving cannibal? Give him a helping hand.
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