Joke #5869

Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: black humor

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Two hunters are out in the wood when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator:"My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies:"Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead. There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter seys,"Ok, now what?"
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has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Bubba dies in a fire and his body is pretty badly burned. The morgue sends for his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer, to identify the body. Daryl arrives first, and when the mortician pulls back the sheet, Daryl says, "Yup, his face is burnt up pretty bad. You better roll him over." The mortician rolls him over, and Daryl says, "Nope, ain't Bubba." The mortician thinks this is strange. Then he brings Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer takes a look at the face and says, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over." The mortician rolls him over and Gomer says, "No, it ain't Bubba." The mortician asks, "How can you tell?" Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two a**holes." "What? He had two assholes?!" exclaims the mortician. "Yup, every time we went to town, folks would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.'"
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has 85.69 % from 1157 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death
An apple and a black person both fall off a tree at the exact same time who hits the ground first? The apple because the rope catches the black person.
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has 31.51 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.
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has 69.06 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids
So it's the weekend, and I'm on my back patio when I get this idea to call up my coroner friend Bob. "Bob's not here," his wife says, "he's at work." "Sheesh!" I think. "Poor guy doing autopsies on a Sunday." So I call him on his cell. "What gives, bro,?" I ask. "Homicide," he says. "The higher-ups need a report ASAP. I'll be starting in just a few minutes." I Josh Bob a little. "I'll be thinking of you, buddy. Right now, I'm basting barbecue sauce on a rack of baby-backs and I'm getting ready to open a frosty beer." "Not much different here," he says. "I'm about ready to crack open a cold one myself."
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has 64.09 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food, friendship, time, work
Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common? A: They aren't much to look at but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.
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has 70.76 % from 234 votes. More jokes about: black humor, morbid, Yo mama
An Asian walks into a McDonald's and says, "I'll Have An Eggroll and Some Fry Rye." "I'm sorry sir we don't serve that. Would you like anything else?" "I have quarter pounder. And when would you like to pick that up...Hiroshima!"
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has 20.36 % from 169 votes. More jokes about: asian, black humor, communication, food
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
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has 21.56 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, desert island, disgusting, navy
What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag.
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has 26.99 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor
Q: What has 2 arms, 3 legs, and 4 feet? A: The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
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has 48.95 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: black humor, geography, morbid, sport