Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
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Did you hear about the cannibal who commited suicide?
He got himself into a real stew.
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John Leslie has been accused of raping a disabled black girl on Blue Peter.
He blamed it on dyslexia & said he thought the script said, use sticky black spastic.
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A man wakes up and finds himself in a hospital room, one with only himself in it.
He has no recollection of how he got there.
While pondering it, his bedside phone rings, and he answers it.
A doctor on the other end identifies himself, and tells the man: "I have really bad news. You're very sick. After your collapse yesterday, we ordered several tests, and got the results back this morning. I'm afraid you have Avain flu, Ebola, and you're positive for HIV and hepatitis."
Stunned, the man asks "Well, what's next!? What are you going to do?"
The doc replies: "Well, for starters, we're putting you on a strict diet of only pizza."
The patient asks: "Will that really help me, doctor?"
"No", the doc responds. "But it's all we can fit under the door."
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I'm thinking about opening a summer camp for jewish kids with adhd and dyslexia, I'm gonna call it Concentration camp.
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Q: What happened to the entertainer who did a show for the cannibals?
A: He went down really well!
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Woman delivers baby.
Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc.
Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?"
Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead".
How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole?
Stick a javelin through it's head.
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I gas the only problem I have with the wold now is all the deutchbags.
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While examining the the body of Mr. Schwartz, a mortician notices that Schwartz has the largest penis he has ever seen.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Schwartz," says the mortician, "But I can't send you to be cremated with a tremendously huge penis like this. It has to be saved for posterity."
The mortician removes the penis, places it in a jar and puts the jar in his briefcase. When he gets home, he decides to show it to his wife. "I have something to show you that you won't believe," he says, removing the jar from his briefcase.
"Oh my God!" she screams, "Schwartz is dead!"
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How do you prepare a dead baby for Valentine's Day?
You shove a box of chocolates down his throat and a bouquet of roses up his ass.
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Joke has 22.40 % from 182 votes. More jokes about: black humor, chocolate, dead baby, morbid, Valentines day