Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
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One day, Muhammad's wife called him a pedophile.
In response, Muhammad asked his wife, "So, how does a 9-year-old know such a big word like that?"
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A guy was walking to a bar and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks.
He untied her and they had sex.
Guy gets to the bar, friends ask why he's so late, tells them about the girl he found and all the different positions they fucked in.
Friends give him props and ask if he got head, guy replies "I couldn't find it."
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Why did the cannibal eat the tightrope walker?
He wanted a balanced meal.
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Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard?
Shut up, and give me more bullets.
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What do you call 100 niggers on the bottom of the sea?
A good start.
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Q: How do you get a Jew to win a race?
A: Drop a quarter at the finish line.
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What do spinach and anal sex have in common?
If you're forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.
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What's funnier than cancer?
Most things, really.
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Good news, I've been given a goldfish for my birthday...
The bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!
Q: How many Jews can you fit in a car?
A: 2 in the back 2 in the front and 6.23 million in the ashtray.
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