Joke #5869

Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: black humor

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Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children anymore. So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.
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has 58.52 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids, wife
Q: What's the difference between morbid and black humour? A: Well, black humour is like 10 children in one rubbish bin, whereas morbid humour is like one child in 10 rubbish bins.
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has 60.37 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids, morbid
A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution. "Let's have sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile. "Let's have sex with the cat and then torture it," says the sadist. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it and then kill it," shouted the murderer. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and then have sex with it again," said the necrophile. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again and then burn it," said the pyromaniac. There was silence, and then the masochist said: "Meow."
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has 84.87 % from 995 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Q: What has 2 arms, 3 legs, and 4 feet? A: The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
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has 48.95 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: black humor, geography, morbid, sport
It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds. An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
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has 62.74 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dog, ethnic, food
Q: What does FUBU really stand for? A: Farmers used to buy us.
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has 28.23 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard? Shut up, and give me more bullets.
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has 36.46 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: black humor
I'm going trick or treating with my mum tonight. It's the only time I can take her out as she's been dead for ten years.
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has 69.28 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, family, Halloween, time
Peter called his doctor’s office for an appointment. "I’m sorry," said the receptionist, “we can’t fit you in for at least two weeks." "But I could be dead by then!" "No problem. If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the appointment."
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has 80.13 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor, office, time
Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat’s milk. The older of the mothers pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos. And they start reminiscing. "This is my oldest son Mohammed. He would be 24 years old now." "Yes, I remember him as a baby" says the other mother cheerfully. "He’s a martyr now though" mum confides. "Oh, so sad, dear" says the other. "And this is my second son Kalid. He would be 21." "Oh, I remember him," says the other happily, "he had such curly hair when he was born." "He’s a martyr too" says mum quietly. "Oh, gracious me…" says the other. "And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He would be 18," she whispers. "Yes" says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school." "He’s a martyr also," says mum, with tears in her eyes. After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says, "They blow up so fast, don’t they?"
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has 59.42 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, black humor, food