A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution.
"Let's have sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile.
"Let's have sex with the cat and then torture it," says the sadist.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it and then kill it," shouted the murderer.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and then have sex with it again," said the necrophile.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again and then burn it," said the pyromaniac.
There was silence, and then the masochist said: "Meow."
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St. Peter says, "Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things.
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First, St. Peter shows Bill an image of Hell with beautiful women running on beaches.
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Bill chooses Hell.
About a week later, St. Peter checks in on Bill in Hell and finds him being whipped by demons.
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St. Peter replies, "That was just the screen saver."
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When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
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Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend on the wall?
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A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?"
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How did they know that the driver had dandruff?
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