So a little kid and a child molester start walking into a forest. They keep walking for what seems like hours, and it gets darker and darker and darker, and the forest gets deeper and deeper and deeper. The kid turns to the child molester and he says "Gee mister, it sure is scary out here!" The child molester says "How do you think I feel, kid? I'm gonna have to walk out of this forest by myself!"
how do you keep a black person out of your backyard? Hang one in the front.
"My parachute did not work." Said no one ever.
I was walking down the street to a video store last night to rent a porno movie when I saw a woman being raped. Saved myself a fiver.
I bet Rosa Parks killed it in musical chairs.
Q: Why doesn't Mexico have any teams competing in the Olympics? A: Because all of the Mexicans that can run, swim, and jump have left the country.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.
Q: What do you call an afghan virgin A: Never bin laid on.
What's the best way to pick up a Jewish girl? Bring a dustpan to Auschwitz
"My son, this is your senior year at school so your mom and I decided that you’re going to be a doctor." "But what are you saying dad? You know very well that I’m not in a position even to... kill a mosquito."
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it's the only love they get.