Joke #2834

Don't break anybody's heart - they have only one. Break their bones - they have 206.
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has 70.46 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: black humor

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A man answers the telephone to find a doctor from the hospital's emergency room on the other end. "Sir," explains the doctor, "Your wife was in a serious car accident. I have bad news and good news." The man, taken back, asks hesitatntly, "What's the bad news?" "The bad news is your wife has lost all use of both arms and both legs. She will likely be on a respirator for the rest of her life." "Heavens, Doc, what's the good news?" The doctor replies, "I'm kidding. She's dead."
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has 76.67 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Girl: "Do you believe in puppy love?" Boy: "I tried it once, but their assholes are too small."
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has 53.18 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dirty, dog, love, sex
A man returns to the U.S. from Africa feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital, to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. “This is your doctor. We’ve had the results back from your tests and we’ve found you have an extremely nasty virus, which is extremely contagious!” “Oh my gosh,” cries the man. He’s in a panic now. “What are you going to do, doctor?” “Well we’re going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread.” “Will that cure me?” asked the man hopefully. The doctor replied, “Well no, but … it’s the only food we can get under the door.”
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has 70.55 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, food, health, hospital
What's the last thing that went through Princess Diana's mind? The dashboard.
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has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity
Q: Why does Luke Skywalker always ask for favors? A: Because he needs someone to lend a hand.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, geek
You might be a redneck if the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
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has 73.75 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Halloween, redneck, wife
How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender!
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has 43.43 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Q: What did Hitler get his granddaughter for her 5th birthday? A: An easy bake oven.
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has 63.80 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: birthday, black humor, Hitler, morbid
First Cannibal: "Who was that girl I saw you with last night?" Second Cannibal: "That was no girl, that was my supper."
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food, women
A few days after her husband's death, a grieving widow accidentally receives an e-mail from a man waiting for his wife in Miami. The e-mail reads: Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P.S. Sure is hot down here.
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has 80.67 % from 605 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, husband, wife