Don't break anybody's heart - they have only one. Break their bones - they have 206.
Knock Knock Whose there? 9/11 9/11 who? I thought you said you would never forget.
Did you hear about the cannibal family who were caught spying by the witch-doctor? They were given a right roasting.
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
Jerry was in the hospital recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. “I’m OK but I didn’t like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery,” he answered. “What did he say?,” asked the nurse. “OOPS!”
I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today. I had to drop the bomb two or three times before she finally got it.
My wife and I had been debating whether it was time to start a family when we saw a couple of cute kids, splashing and giggling in a paddling pool. I looked at her and said, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" She smiled and said, "Yes, Gary..." "That settles it, then," I replied. "We can't raise children if we're both paedos."
A man goes to the doctor and says "I need birth control for my 10 year old daughter" The doctor replies "She's 10 years old and sexually active?" The man says" Active? Hell no! Most of the time se just lies there and cries."
Q: What do black people smoke? A: Niggerettes.
Daddy to his son: I don't care if you are dating a black girl - they are all pink on the inside.
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: Because you can see right through them!