Joke #2834

Don't break anybody's heart - they have only one. Break their bones - they have 206.
Vote: has 63.81 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Since it started to rain, my wife can't stop looking through the window. If it will start pouring down, I'm afraid I will have to let her inside.
Vote: has 78.47 % from 171 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man." The man then "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."
Vote: has 79.66 % from 119 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
There are 3 men on a plane a Mexican an American and a Russian the Mexican says "I hate my country!" And throughs a soup out the window the American says "I hate my country" and throughs a pie out the window. The Russian says "I hate my country!" And throughs a bomb out the window. Then the plane lands and the Mexican sees a kid crying the Mexican says "what's wrong kid?" The kid says "a soup fell on my mom's head and she burnt to death." "I didn't do that" says the Mexican. The American was walking and saw a kid crying "what's wrong kid?" The kid says "my mom was driving and a pie fell on her windshield and drove off a cliff cause she couldn't see!" "I didn't do that" says the American. Then the Russian gets off the plane and saw a kid laughing his head off. The Russian says "what's so funny?" The kid says " daddy farted and the house went BOOM BOOM!"
Vote: has 52.05 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, black humor, kids, mexican, travel
Q: What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve? A: I haven't seen you for a year!
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, new year, time
A bunch of new recruits are making their first parachute jump. The sergeant gives instructions: "After you jump out of the plane, count slowly to 10. Your parachute will automatically open. If it doesn't, pull the emergency cord. When you get to the drop zone, there'll be trucks waiting to take you back to the base. Move out!" As scared as they are, they all make it out the door. The last recruit jumps out and slowly counts to 10 -- nothing. He frantically fumbles around and finds the emergency handle. He jerks on the cord, and it comes off in his hand. Raising his head to the heavens, he screams, "I bet them trucks ain't waiting either!!"
Vote: has 58.09 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars. "Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
Vote: has 68.80 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, democrat, funeral, money
Two cannibals were having their dinner. One said to the other "I don't like your friend." The other one said, "Well, put him to one side and just eat the vegetables."
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, food
How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ? Nail its other hand to the floor.
Vote: has 32.77 % from 61 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Vote: has 53.58 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
Me: "Here comes the airplane!" Baby: Opens mouth. Me: "OH NO! It's the Taliban!" Hits baby in the forehead with the spoon. "KA-BOOM"
Vote: has 66.98 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, baby, black humor