Chuck Norris can facebook through a calculator.
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The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
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Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
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After meeting with Chuck Norris' lawyer the UFC have changed their name from "Ultimate Fighting Championship" to simply "Fighting Championship."
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When Chuck Norris visits Africa, the animals are required to stay in their cars.
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If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank.
By phone.
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When Chuck Norris touched a Prius, it turned into a Ferrari
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To finally solve whether Mona-Lisa is smiling or not, Chuck Norris took a quick look at it.
She's crying
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Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer.
This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
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Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.
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