The following is a short list of what Chuck Norris cannot do: .
Chuck Norris is never late... time is just early.
Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.
Atlas doesn't drop the earth because he knows Chuck Norris lives in it.
Chuck Norris can fall up.
Chuck Norris jumps on hand grenades to shave his chest hair.
Chuck Norris can check out books from the Library of Congress.
Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.
Chuck Norris can make a dog bark the alphabet, in spanish, backwards.
Much controversy surrounds Area 51, which is also known as Chuck Norris's playground. Those flying saucers are similar to our model cars and planes.
Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.