The following is a short list of what Chuck Norris cannot do: .
Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
Chuck Norris beat a black hole in a tug of war.
Chuck Norris once won a Scrabble tournament despite getting only Z's and Q's in his rack.
Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you’re thinking to yourself, “But Chuck Norris isn’t black”, then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.
Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
When Chuck Norris went to the beach, he gave the ocean a bath.
Chuck Norris can hear the sound of one hand clapping.
The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris. The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.
Chuck Norris saved 100% on his car insurance by switching to Geico.