The following is a short list of what Chuck Norris cannot do: .
Some say Chuck once sneezed a rhino inside out.
When Chuck Norris watches TV it changes the channel for him when he asks just out of fear.
Meteors didn't kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just needed a new pair of boots.
When Teddy Rosavelt said there is nothing to fear but fear itself he obiously hadn't met Chuck Norris.
"Between a rock and a hard place" refers to Chuck Norris' fists.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
Chuck Norris puts phone companies on hold.
Chuck Norris doesn't pay the government, the government pays him.
Chuck Norris was born Sept. 1 1945. World War 2 ended Sept. 2 1945. What a coincidence.