The following is a short list of what Chuck Norris cannot do: .
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Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
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Chuck Norris adds Facebook as a friend.
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Chuck Norris doesn't flirt all he says is NOW.
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When Superman wants vacation time it has to be approved by Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can stare you to death while looking the other direction!
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Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
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Labradoodles were made when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Labrador and a Poodle at the same time.
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Chuck Norris got swept over Niagara Falls...
He liked it so much, he swam back up and did it again.
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There is no such thing as global warming.
Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
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When somebody else yawns, Chuck Norris does not.
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