Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone.
This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
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Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
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Chuck Norris never uses a navigation system.
The direction he is heading is ALWAYS the right direction.
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When Chuck Norris goes to a BBL cricket game, he doesn't watch out for the big hits from the players, the big hits watch out for him!
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
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In the back of the book of world records, it says "All records are held by Chuck Norris. The ones listed are in second place."
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Physics is bound by the laws of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris told Anne Robinson she was the weakest link and made her leave the stage.
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James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does.
NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris is as old as dirt, he will be the salt of the earth.
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