Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone.
This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
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Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
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Chuck norris once killed a bear with an imaginary knife.
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Chuck Norris has his own protien powder.
The ingriedients include: cocoa powder, stem cells, dodo egg protien, enriched uranium, LSD, and Vin Diesel.
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Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use OFF!
Mosquitos instinctively know not to bite him.
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Chuck Norris is cooler than the other side of the pillow.
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Chuck Norris' indian name is "He who can kick your ass anytime anywhere"
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When you look for Chuck Norris on Wikipedia, it redirects you to the article titled "Roundhouse kick."
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When Chuck Norris watches TV it changes the channel for him when he asks just out of fear.
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Chuck Norris can pop every kernel in the bag without burning one.
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