Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
The reason everything is better in Texas is because Chuck Norris said so.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
Some people can ride their bikes with no handle bars. But chuck norris can ride his handlebars with no bike.
Chuck Norris doesn't cry. His eyes sweat.
Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.
Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident, but he still managed to walk it off.
Chuck Norris made the llama extinct. Never spit in his face.
Chuck Norris dosen't need to stand on top of the empire state building to kill someone with a penny.
Chuck Norris can send an e-mail with a pencil.