Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
Chuck Norris is in every action film ever made but sometimes he only shows up as EXPLOSIONS.
When Chuck Norris say it's hot, people sweat.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
When Chuck Norris plays dodge ball... the balls dodge him.
Chuck Norris doesn't hold any world records, he broke them all.
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
Chuck Norris does not wear a seatbelt and reclines his seat before takeoff and landing on an airplane because he can.
Chuck Norris has heard the actual voice of Charlie Brown's teacher...
Dear Chuck Norris, Could you please close the door of your refrigerator. Thank you, Europe
Clark Kent had to call himself "Superman" because "Chuck Norris" was already taken.