Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals. Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.
Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving. He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.
Chuck Norris can stare you to death while looking the other direction!
Chuck Norris' phone never auto corrects him.
Chuck Norris uses battery acid for eye drops.
Chuck Norris puts all of his baskets in one egg.