Chuck Norris can set water on fire. He can also set fire on water.
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
Chuck Norris texts with punctuation.
Chuck Norris got a perfect SAT score by just putting his name on the paper...
Chuck Norris can locate the nowhere.
Some people have alter egos. Chuck Norris has no such thing.
Chuck Norris was the reason the Titanic sank. The iceberg was just a cover-up.
Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.
The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.