Yoda used to be 6 feet tall till he tried that Force crap on Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.
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Chuck Norris doesn't vote.
He elects!
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Chuck Norris doesn't cry.
His eyes sweat.
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You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life?
In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
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Every time Satain goes to sleep, He has to pray to God hoping Chuck Norris does't get him at night.
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Chuck Norris knows the secret of the Caramilk
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Guns can kill, Chuck Norris does!
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Chuck Norris shaves with predator mandibles and uses alien blood for shaving cream.
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Chuck gives the sun the chills.
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Chuck Norris once got careless and accidentally locked his drawer key inside his drawer, with a lock that needs the key to lock.
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