Chuck Norris' pager is still cool.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he forced his mum to eat her vegetables!
Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
When Chuck Norris eats teddy grahams, he craps out grizzly bears.
Chuck Norris' phone never auto corrects him.
A body in motion will remain in motion until roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris protects his body guards.
Usually when kids go to sleep they sleep with a teddy bear... Chuck Norris sleeps with an actual bear
Ed and Lorraine Warren have the doll Anabelle locked in a glass case in their basement, a priest comes there every week to whisper Chuck Norris's name in its ear. The doll locked itself in the case upon first hearing the name.
Chuck Norris cut's a knife with butter.
Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.