Chuck Norris can only text if the phone's touch screen is bullet proof.
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Chuck Norris can skydive into outer space.
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Barbwire wants a tatoo of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris put his phone on air-plane mode and flew it.
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Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
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Chuck norris once ate a rubix cube and pooped it out solved.
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Chuck Norris has 5 bathtubs, they are known as the Great Lakes.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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Originally Chuck Norris was in the cast of "The Expendables" but the movie was only 3 seconds long because there was nothing left to kill.
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Chuck Norris can set magnifying glasses on fire...using ants.
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The Twilight Zone enters the Chuck Norris Zone.
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