Chuck Norris can only text if the phone's touch screen is bullet proof.
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Chuck Norris once ran on the treadmil.
It couldn't keep up.
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Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter.
He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
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Chuck Norris can break his opponents serve with an ace.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
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Chuck Norris won a marathon on a treadmill.
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Chuck Norris is not cool.
By saying that, I have decreased my life to 5 seco...
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Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
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Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
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Chuck Norris recently got himself an iPad.
It turned into iDust when he tried to use it.
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A total eclipse won't look directly at Chuck Norris.
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