Chuck Norris can only text if the phone's touch screen is bullet proof.
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Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest.
Chuck Norris won by 5.
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Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder.
Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky.
Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
Chuck norris can throw a rock at you... looking the other way.
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Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made of real cowboys.
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When Chuck Norris first saw Dragon Ball Z he thought it was a series of easy workout videos.
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When Chuck Norris enters a sauna the sauna starts sweating.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.
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Film makers are smart enough NOT to make a Chuck Norris movie in 3D.
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There was once a ship that wouldn't let chuck norris on board.
It is now known as titanic
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Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
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