Chuck Norris can only text if the phone's touch screen is bullet proof.
Chuck Norris gets younger by the kill.
When Chuck Norris falls into a puddle of water he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris. This is just a joke, we know Chuck Norris doesn't fall..ever
The sun cannot look directly at Chuck Norris. It must use specialized equipment just to gaze upon his silhouette
Physics is bound by the laws of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to change the past. He has never made any mistakes.
Chuck Norris dosen't get lost... Everything around him is in the wrong place!
Chuck Norris installed his own home security system. It's called "Chuck Norris."
Chuck Norris CAN have it both ways.