Chuck Norris can only text if the phone's touch screen is bullet proof.
Chuck Norris is the only man who can put M&M's in alphabetical order.
Chuck Norris wears boots to protect the Earth from his feet.
Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.
Chuck Norris can stop the music.
Chuck Norris is in every action film ever made but sometimes he only shows up as EXPLOSIONS.
Chuck Norris can keep up with the Kardashians.
Chuck Norris has never won a single fight. Winning would imply some sort of competition or chance that he could loose.
Chuck Norris can fire Vince McMahon.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.