Joke #5298

Teacher: How we use the light? Pupil: To suck it? Teacher: Why do you say so? Pupil: Because every night, my mother says to my father, "Switch off the light, I wanna suck it!"

Wife says to husband, "You make love like you decorate." Husband replies, "What very slow and professional?" "NO,"she replies, "I have to finish the job myself."

My penis was in the Guiness Book of Records... until the librarian kicked me out.

May I push in your stool?

Your momma's like a shotgun 2 cocks and shes ready to blow.

My 1st time having sex. I suddenly stopped and didn't move. She: "What are you doing?" Me: "I've seen this on YouPorn, it's called Buffering.

Girl: Babe I just gotta a tattoo of a sea shell on my thigh can you hear the ocean? *Pulls his head to her thigh* Guy: Nope, But I sure can smell the fish.

Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?

Now there's a rack I'd like to be stretched out on.

One day a priest told the Mother Superior that he was going into town and try to convert some ladies of the evening. Later off he went and drove to a certain part of town known for the ladies of the evening. The first one he approached asked him before he had a chance to say a word she said "heh Father, how about a little head for 10" He was clueless and embarrassed and left quickly. He approached another young woman and again before he could say a word she said "heh Father, how about a little head for 10?" Again he left quickly and returned to the convent. Once back he saw Mother Superior and quietly took him aside and whispered Mother Superior "what's head?" She replied "$10.00 same as in town."

Little Sally came home from school with a proud smile on her face. She told her mum, "Frankie Brown showed me his willy today." Before mum could raise a concern sally said, "It reminded me of a peanut..." With a secret smile mum asked, "Was it really small?" Sally replied, "No... really salty!"