Teacher: How we use the light?
Pupil: To suck it?
Teacher: Why do you say so?
Pupil: Because every night, my mother says to my father, "Switch off the light, I wanna suck it!"
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Why is the position 69 like driving car in a rush hour traffic?
Cause asshole is always in front of you.
A dick has a sad life.
His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
Why do guys think more then girls, and why do girls talk more then guys?
Because guys have two heads and girls have two sets of lips.
Q. What do a toilet and a woman have in common?
A. Without the hole in the middle they aren't good for shit.
"Dad, whats the difference between a p*ssy and a c*nt ?" young son ask.
"Look at this," says dad, as he lifts the sheets on his naked sleeping mother, "that's a p*ssy son."
"Its wonderful dad, can I touch it?"
"NO son," says dad, "If you touch the p*ssy you'll wake the c*nt up!"
How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his whopper.
A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks.
"I'm going down to give blood."
"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"
"About $20."
"Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator.
The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again.
"Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?"
"Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.
Hey guys.
Bet your female friend that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button.
Thank me later.
What said Adam to Eva at they’re first rendezvous?
Get back!
I have no idea how big it grows!