The horrible moment when there's a really cute girls on the bus,
but you're too shy to start masturbating in front of everyone...
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Q: Why are gays so happy?
A: Becuase the luck does not have the courage turning back to them.
A priest took a beautiful girl in his bedroom.
He put a Bible on the bed and asked the girl to lie on the bed.
When the priest tried to have sex with her, the girl shouted:
"Father, what are you doing?"
The priest replied "Calm down my child.
Holy Bible under you, Holy Father above you and Holy water passing through."
Two men were talking about their wives.
First: "I'm a teacher whenever we are in bed my wife says repeat please."
Second: "I'm a driver when we are sexing she thinks I'm in a gas station so she screws my dick and says: 'fill it up super!'"
Q: How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None because they screw each other the dirty fucks.
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Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS?
A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
What is the difference between a hippie girl and a muslim girl?
The hippie girl gets stoned before have sex.
Peter approaches the gates of Heaven.
"Knock knock," says Peter.
Miraculously, someone answers him.
"Who's there," a voice in the distance asked.
"God," says Peter.
"God who," asked the voice?
"GOD DAMMIT open these gates!
I've been a good neighbor, loved my wife and lost my virginity, twice!"
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This guy said send me a naked pic, so I sent him a picture of my kitty.
She's not wearing any clothes.
Received a call from a recruitment lady.
She said to me: "Sir I have two openings for you."
Me: "Yes I Know."
*Awkward silence*
She: "Asshole"
Me: "I prefer the other one."