Joke #5973

So the buddhist pulls a gun out of his coat and the vendor says, "Whoa whoa whoa, what about inner peace?". The Buddhist responds "This is my inner piece".

I know when god becomes angry. When teenage girls get pregnant and their parents exclaim, "Oh god! What have you done?!"

"I really don’t know girl, but I don’t believe in love at first sight!" "Why?" "Because... How can you tell if the man has a good salary at the first sight?"

A boss took one of his employees to show his new sports car. "That is amazing" the employee was fascinated. "That is true" replied boss "and if you set your new goals higher and work even harder I can get an even better car next year".

Why don’t all the managers go into holiday at once? So people can’t see that the company works without them..

Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.

Why are we so sure that Eve was African? If she were white, she wouldn't have eaten that apple! She would say, "Is this organic? What would Oprah do?" If she had been Asian, she'd have eaten the damn snake!

Womens are like computer virus... they ENTER your life... SEARCH your pocket... SHIFT your balance ... CONTROL your life... when you become an old version DELET you from the system

Abraham wanted a new suit, so he bought a nice piece of cloth and then tried to locate a tailor. The first tailor he visited looked at the cloth and measured Abraham, then told him the cloth was not enough to make a suit. Abraham was unhappy with this opinion and sought another tailor. This tailor measured Abraham, then measured the cloth, and then smiled and said, "There is enough cloth to make a pair of trousers, a coat and a vest, please come back in a week to take your suit." After a week Abraham came to take his new suit, and saw the tailor’s son wearing trousers made of the same cloth. Perplexed, he asked, "Just how could you make a full suit for me and trousers for your son, when the other tailor could not make a suit only?" "It’s very simple," replied the tailor, "The other tailor has two sons."

You know what I was thinking about right now? What it would be like to have six fingers....high fives would be different.

The more self-killers, the fewer self-killers.