Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone
When the President pushes the big red button, Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
When Bell invented the telephone, there were already three Chuck Noris missed calls.
Chuck Norris keeps a list of all his victims, it's called the phone book.
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
Chuck Norris was about to die... until the Grim Reaper phoned in sick.
Chuck Norris put his phone on air-plane mode and flew it.
Chuck Norris puts phone companies on hold.
When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.