Q: What do you get when you mix cigarettes with hot water?
A: A soggy butt.
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Similar jokes
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Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats.
Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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A demon died and was asked by god what he wanted to become in his next life.
The demon said "I wish to become good in my next life. I want to be as pure and white as an angel and also have angel wings... But I still want to drink blood."
So god turned him into a maxi pad.
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A man jumps off a building at the same time that another man pisses.
Which hits the ground first?
The piss, because nobody beats the Wiz!
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Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads?
So you can pick them up five at a time
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Laughing is always good except when you have diarrhea.
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How is parsley like pubic hair?
You push it aside to eat, and sometimes it gets stuck between your teeth after meals.
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What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion.
You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby.
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A cowboy rides his horse up to a saloon.
All the patrons gawked as the cowboy kissed his horse on the butt before coming in and asking for a drink.
The bartender serves him and asks, "Mind if I ask why'd ya kiss your horse on the butt?"
The cowboy says, "It's 'cause I got chapped lips."
The bartender asks, "Does manure help them heal?"
Cowboy replies, "No, but it keeps me from licking them."
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Little Red Riding Hood went to her grandma's house and found her laying in bed.
Little Red Riding Hood said, "Grandma, what big eyes you have!"
Grandma: "The better to see you with, my dear."
Little Red Riding Hood: "Grandma, what big ears you have!"
Grandma: "The better to hear you with, my dear."
Little Red Riding Hood: "Grandma, what a big mouth you have!"
Grandma: "Of course I do, have you seen Grandpa's d**k?!"
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Three flies in a trashcan get trapped overnight in a bathroom.
The first fly goes to the sink, the second fly stays in the tub, and the third fly chooses the toilet.
The next morning, all the exhausted flies gather back in the garbage can.
The first fly says, "I'm exhausted! I almost got washed down the drain."
The second fly says, "I almost got squashed by feet in the shower!"
The third fly says, "The toilet was fine until it suddenly got dark.
First, I heard thunder, then it started to rain, and if it weren't for that big brown log, I surely would have drowned."
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