Joke #8071

Q: What do you get when you mix cigarettes with hot water? A: A soggy butt.
Vote: has 31.56 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

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Did you hear what the blonde who was opening a new bar said when her lawyer explained to her that she needed a liquor license?  "Oh, it's not gonna be THAT kind of a bar. That's disgusting!"
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why do you put babies into a blender feet first? A: So you can see the look in their eyes when you turn it on!
Vote: has 22.62 % from 102 votes. Send joke:

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The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative." The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!" The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"
Vote: has 82.43 % from 198 votes. Send joke:

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A guy says, "Doc, you gotta help me. Every time I fart, it sounds like, "Honda." The doctor says, "You say, 'Honda?'" "No," the guy says. "My farts do." So, the doctor says, "OK, open your mouth," and looks inside. After about two minutes, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, I can't help you, you need to go see a dentist." The guy says, "Why a dentist?" The doctor says, "Because you have an absessed tooth." The guy says, "What the hell does that have to do with my condition?" The doctor says, "Well, didn't you know? Absess makes the farts go Honda!"
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When you're neckin' with yer honey And your nose is kinda runny You might think it's funny... But it's not.
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Three robbers break into a bank, but when they open the safe, they find only boxes. One robber opens a box and finds cups full of yogurt. "We didn't find any money, but we got something to eat," he tells his partners. They eat their fill and leave. The next morning's newspaper headline reads, "World's Largest Sperm Bank Robbed."
Vote: has 81.46 % from 150 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Whats the height of desperation? A: A vampire sucking blood from a sanitary napkin.
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

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How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
Vote: has 56.50 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why do men take showers instead of baths? A: Pissing in the bath is disgusting.
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What's brown and in the military? A: Gomer's pile.
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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