Husband: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
Wife: Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Q: What is difference between man and Superman?
A: Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.
A brunette who really hated blondes was walking through the desert when she came across a magic lamp.
After rubbing the lamp the genie told her that she got three wishes with one catch: All the blondes in the world would get twice whatever she asked for.
So the brunette thought a while and then wished for a million dollars.
"Every blonde in the world will get two million."
The brunette said that was fine and then she asked for an incredibly handsome man.
Every blonde in the world will get two incredibly handsome men.
The brunette said that was fine too and the genie granted her wishes.
"Now for your third wish." said the genie.
"See that stick over there?", asked the brunette,
"I want you to beat me half to death with it."
Men are like.....Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.
Three men are sitting at a campfire telling stories about their great endeavors.
The first man talked about how to sucked out the venom of a snake and sucked it up with 50 degree alcohol.
The second man called it a circus trick as he has gotten 3 gunshots towards the chest and he but the guns in half.
They looked at the third guy wanting to hear his story.
Only to see him stroking his cock with the glowing hot coals.
Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger.
What do men dream of?
Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.
Q: Why was the blonde girl's belly button bruised?
A: Because blonde men are dumb too.
Q: Why do men like blonde jokes?
A: Because they can understand them.