Husband: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
Wife: Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
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Why do men like masturbation?
It's sex with someone they love.
Why do so many women fake orgasm?
Because so many men fake foreplay.
A man and woman were on their first date.
The woman was trying to make conversation and said, "So I hear you hunt deer."
The man looked away and turned red.
"What's wrong?" asked the woman.
"I'm not used to someone calling me dear on the first date," the man said.
Dad: Hey son want to hear a joke?
Son: Yeah!
Dad: Pussy.
Son: I don't get it.
Dad: Exactly...
What do you call a take-out low-calorie meal for a cowboy?
A Saddle Light Dish.
A burglar breaks into a house and is quietly and expertly collecting valuables in his bag when he hears a voice: "Jesus is watching you."
Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
A: Snowballs.
Ones the bus was full of people.
A man looks at a lovely girl, she looks at him, he smiled, she did so, he told her get off at the next station, she did, he took her place.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One...men will screw anything.
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