Joke #3475

Husband: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? Wife: Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: men

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A brunette who really hated blondes was walking through the desert when she came across a magic lamp. After rubbing the lamp the genie told her that she got three wishes with one catch: All the blondes in the world would get twice whatever she asked for. So the brunette thought a while and then wished for a million dollars. "Every blonde in the world will get two million." The brunette said that was fine and then she asked for an incredibly handsome man. Every blonde in the world will get two incredibly handsome men. The brunette said that was fine too and the genie granted her wishes. "Now for your third wish." said the genie. "See that stick over there?", asked the brunette, "I want you to beat me half to death with it."
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has 80.65 % from 226 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, genie, men, money
A beautiful woman who had a golden little plane necklace was seated next to a guy on the plane. During the flight all the time he was gazing at the necklace. When the woman asked him: "Are you interested in my necklace?" "No lady; I would rather its runway!" answered the guy.
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has 77.20 % from 126 votes. More jokes about: airplane, communication, men, travel, women
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
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has 76.68 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, husband, men, time
Boy will be boys but one day all girls will be women.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: men, women
John asks his wife, Mary, what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. “Would you like a new Mink Coat?” he asks. “Not really,” says Mary. “Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?” says John. “No,” she responds. “What about a new vacation home in the country?” he suggests. She again rejects his offer with a, “No thanks.” Frustrated he finally asks, “Well what would you like for your anniversary?” “John, I’d like a divorce,” answers Mary. John thinks for a moment and replies “Sorry dear, I wasn’t planning to spend that much.”
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has 72.05 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, car, divorce, men, wife
What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each others shoulders? A scrotum pole!
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has 81.21 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: men
A man consulted his priest about getting a divorce. The priest was surprised. "Why on earth would you want to divorce such a lovely wife? She is soft and gentle and, if I may say so, she is also quite beautiful and nicely proportioned. I really can’t see what you have to complain about." The man took off his shoe. "See this shoe," he said, showing it to the priest, "The leather is soft and gentle. It is a beautiful piece of work and nicely proportioned." "Ah"” said the priest, "a parable." "In a way, Father," replied the man. "I’m the only one who knows it pinches."
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has 68.01 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: divorce, love, men, priest, wife
What's the difference between a man and an ox? Fifteen pounds and a six-pack.
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: men
Men are like.....Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
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has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: men
Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? A. Both of them.
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has 24.11 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: men