Husband: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
Wife: Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Q: What does a shot of Everclear and a Woman have in common?
A: Both of them make men start talking nonsense!
Men are like.....Commercials.
You can't believe a word they say
Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash.
Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill.
"Here’s that $20 I owe you," he says.
A man goes to the vet about his dog's fleas.
The vet says: "I'm sorry, I'll have to put this dog down."
The man is incredulous and asks why.
The vet says: "Because he's far too heavy."
Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.
Confucius say, man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A. They already have boyfriends.
Two men walked into a restaurant, the first one asks for tea.
The second also asks for tea.
"And make sure the glass is clean," he tells the waiter.
When the waiter returns with the two glasses of tea he asks, "Which one of you asked for the clean glass?"
Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
Because they are tired of using their own.