Joke #1648

Men are like.....Lawn Mowers. If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men

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Three couples are having a picnic. One man says to his wife, "Pass me the honey, honey." The second man says to his wife, "Pass me the sugar, sugar." Then the third man says to his wife, "Pass me the bacon, pig."
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has 81.89 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: couple, food, mean, men, vulgar
This french guy he wants to learn English. So one day he goes to an airport to learn "take off". Then he goes to the zoo to learn "zebra". Then he goes to the hospital "baby" So one day he walks up too a hot girl on a beach in a bikini and he said "Take off zebra baby" (take off the bra baby).
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has 52.05 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: men
Q: What is height of Stupidity? A: A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: men
MEN Vs WOMEN 1. MEN discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT. WOMEN discovered paint and invented makeup. 2. Men discovered word and invented conversation. Women discovered conversation and invented gossip. 3. Men discovered gambling and invented cards. Women discovered cards and invented Witchery. 4. Men discovered trading and invented money. Women discovered money and invented shopping. There after Men have discovered and invented lots of things while Women STUCK TO SHOPPING.
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has 52.77 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: men, women
A burglar breaks into a house and is quietly and expertly collecting valuables in his bag when he hears a voice: "Jesus is watching you."
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has 34.09 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men
Bigamy is having one husband too many. Some say monogamy is the same.
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has 34.87 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: men
Q: How can you tell when a man is dead? A: He stays stiff for more than two minutes.
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has 27.32 % from 5 votes. More jokes about: men
Men are like Bluetooth. When they’re close they’re connected, when they move further they start looking for new equipment.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: men
If women knew what men were really thinking, they'd never stop slapping them.
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: men
A man walks into a pet shop and says to the owner. "Ok I want to buy a pet, but I don't want a boring normal pet, no cats, or dogs or budgies I want something different." The pet shop owner informs him that he has a talking centipede. "Really?" says the man "How much?" The owner informs him that the talking centipede is 50. Happy with the unusual offering the man pays the money and takes his new pet home. On getting home he lays the match box with the centipede in it on the table, opens it and says, "Hello mr centipede, fancy going to the pub for a few drinks?" The centipede says nothing. Figuring it must be tired from the journey he decides to leave it for an hour and try again later. An hour later he opens the match box and says "Hello mr centipede, fancy going to the pub for a few drinks?" The centipede again says nothing. Starting to get suspicious the man decides he will give it one more hour, and if the centipede doesn't talk he will take it back to the shop for a refund. An hour later the man opens the match box and says "Hello mr centipede, fancy going to the pub for a few drinks?" The centipede says "I heard you the first time you moron! I'm putting my shoes on!"
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has 80.60 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: men