Joke #1648

Men are like.....Lawn Mowers. If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.
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has 34.78 % from 6 votes. More jokes about: men

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After an accident... 1st Driver : I flashed the headlights and told you to let me go first. 2nd Driver : I also started the wipers and said NO NO...
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: men
Jim is up north on a trip and his car breaks down. He checks it out for a minute and being a mechanic he pretty quickly knows he needs a tow truck. He opens his phone and has no signal so he starts walking. A few minutes later he here's the bass of a car coming in the distance, bht dum dum do buh dum dum do. He waits and sees a low riding car pull up next to him. The windows roll down and smoke pours out. He sees a bunch of empty beer bottles. The driver and his 3 passengers ask "hey man! Need a lift? We saw your car up the road?" He thinks for a minute and decides not to go with them. The ask what's wrong with the car the mechanic replies "uhh just piston broke that's all" the driven than replies "eh so are we man hop in!"
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has 73.52 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: car, communication, men, phone, travel
Charlie was responsible for taking up the offerings at a local church. One Sunday, after the service, the priest counted the money and found there was less than anticipated, given the size of the congregation. He took Charlie aside and questioned him. Charlie said that he did not take any of the offerings. The priest questioned him again and again and Charlie continued to insist that he did not take any of the offerings. So, the priest told Charlie to get into the confessional, which he did. The priest then asked him again, "Charlie, did you take any of the offering?" This time, Charlie replied, "I can’t hear you." The priest asked Charlie the same question several times and Charlie would always reply, "I can’t hear you." Finally, the priest yelled, "Charlie, did you take any of the offering?" Again, the reply was, "I can’t hear you." The priest was now beginning to get angry, so he came out of the confessional and said to Charlie, "Trade places with me and you can ask me a question." So, they traded places and Charlie asked, "Is it true that you and my wife are having an affair?" To which the priest replied, "By golly, you’re right, you can’t hear in here!"
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has 80.87 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: church, men, money, priest, wife
How are men like noodles? They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: men
Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera? Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: men
A man parachuted out of an aeroplane and his chute did not open. As he headed for almost certain death, he saw a man coming up toward him through the air from the ground. As the man zoomed by, the man headed down asked, "Do you know anything about parachutes?" The man replied in passing, "No, you know anything about gas stoves?"
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has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: airplane, death, men
Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
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has 67.52 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: death, men, military, women
Why is it good that there are female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men, women
Sex is when a guys communication, enters a girls information, to increase the population, for a younger generation, do you get the information... or do you need a demonstration.
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has 64.59 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: communication, men, poems, sex, women
Men are like buses. They have spare tires and smell funny.
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: men