Joke #1648

Men are like.....Lawn Mowers. If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.
Vote: has 34.78 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg? Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.
Vote: has 24.26 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Boy will be boys but one day all girls will be women.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, women
There is the chief of Indians, and he is going down a field with his tribe, and they come across a pile of sh*t.So the chief asks his tribe men : "Does this look like sh*t to you?" "Yes is does", they replied. "Smell it. Does it smell like sh*t to you", asks the Chief. "Mmmmm..Yes" "Feel it. Does it feel like sh*t to you?", says the Chief. "Mmmmm..Yes" "Lick it. Does it taste like sh*t to you?", inquires the Chief. "Ammmm...Yes" "Good. Don't step on it!"
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
How do some men define Roe vs. Wade? Two ways to cross a river.
Vote: has 74.84 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Why is it dangerous to tell the husband to go and change the son? Two hours later he comes back with a baby girl.
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, husband, men
I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day.
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labour and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you’re the new father of twins!" The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company." The man then followed the woman to his wife’s room. About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smith’s wife has just had triplets. Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company." The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave. When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air." The man continued, "I work for 7-UP."
Vote: has 77.47 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, hospital, men, nurse, wife
A plane is descending rapidly from the air, and the passengers are all scared stiff. Suddenly a women near the front of the plane stands up and takes off her shirt. She proceeds to yell, "Is there a man on this plane that can make me feel like a REAL woman before I die?!" She continues to yell this for about ten minutes before a man in the very back takes a stand. He proceeds to say "Yeah I can make you feel like a woman." He then takes off his shirt and throws it towards her and says, "Here! Iron this!"
Vote: has 69.55 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom." The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him. The man asks, "Is it serious, doctor?" The doctor replies, "I'm sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg."
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men