Chuck Norris didn't have a mum or dad, he created himself.
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Chuck Norris once gave a cop a ticket for speeding.
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A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
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Chuck Norris roundhouse kick is fast that he stopped the Flash.
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Chuck Norris can stand the rain...
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Chuck Norris once had a bet with the Hulk, the loser had to paint himself green.
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Chuck Norris found the stairway to heaven, but he prefers the elevator.
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Chuck Norris can infect a mac with pc viruses.
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Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista, and it has never crashed.
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Chuck Norris had never escape from jail.
Jail escapes from Chuck Norris.
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Never tell Chuck Norris he lost the game because he will make you lose the game then roundhouse kick you in the face making you lose twice.
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