Chuck Norris didn't have a mum or dad, he created himself.
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If you say Chuck Norris' name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor.
Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.
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If Chuck Norris were an Adam's Apple, he'd be in your throat right now.
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Chuck Norris' favorite game is winning.
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Chuck Norris can hear your text messages.
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Chuck Norris doesn't shave, his beard grows to the perfect length and stops.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
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Chuck Norris went on Man vs Wild once.
The Wild lost.
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Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom.
Because he never f*cks up.
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Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
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If Chuck Norris ever got caught for speeding, he'd let the cops off with a warning.
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