The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second. It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor exclaimed, "It's a man!"
Chuck Norris was born feet first. It was the only time a doctor died during childbirth.
When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord. He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
Chuck Norris doesn't go to therapy, therapy goes to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person crying was the doctor.
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
Patient: “Doctor, Doctor… I can’t stop stealing things”. Doctor: “Take these pills for a week. If that doesn’t work, I’ll have a color TV”.
The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks." "And did he?" "Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill."