Joke #6386

Some people wear Superman Underwear, Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear. On the other hand, Chuck Norris wears no underwear.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: catholic, Chuck Norris

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The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church. One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons. The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!" Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy. After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The priest was holding steady in the pulpit. The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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has 67.68 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: catholic, christian, Chuck Norris, vulgar
Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: bible, catholic, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris is standing right behind you when you're reading this.
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has 65.32 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Only Chuck Norris can cross the "Beyond" section of Bed, Bath and Beyond store.
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has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
In a terrible car accident, 3 nuns die at the same time. They all appear in front of the gates of Heaven to meet Saint Peter. When they arrive, Peter informs them that those who lived a life of the cloth must answer some basic questions about theology before they are permitted to enter Heaven. Each of the nuns has studied their bible well, so they don't feel worried by this. The first nun steps forward and tells the saint that she's ready. "Who was the first woman?" Peter asks. "That's easy!" exclaims the nun. "Eve!" Peter smiles, the bells toll, and the gates of Heaven open. The second nun, encouraged by her colleagues easy pass, steps forwards and tells Peter that she's ready, as well. "Who was the first man?" Peter asks. "Easy! That's Adam!" says the nun, excitedly. Peter smiles, the bells toll, and the gates of Heaven open. The third nun is now confident that she won't have any trouble, and steps up to face Peter's question. "What were Eve's first words to Adam?" he asks. "My, that's a hard one," the nun replies worriedly, but Peter smiles, the bells toll, and the gates of Heaven open...
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has 83.91 % from 439 votes. More jokes about: catholic, dirty, heaven
When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
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has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health, money
Chuck Norris' Motto is: "The beard is mightier than the sword."
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has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can make a dog bark the alphabet, in spanish, backwards.
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has 68.66 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Maria, a devout Catholic, got married and had 10 children. After her first husband died, she remarried and had 10 more children. A few weeks after her second husband died, Maria also passed away. At Maria's funeral, the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together." Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband, or she and her second husband?" The priest replied, "I mean her legs."
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has 62.50 % from 439 votes. More jokes about: catholic, husband, kids, marriage
Two Jewish guys are walking when one notices a sign on a Catholic church that says "Convert to Christianity, and we'll give you $100." The one says to the other, "should we do it?" The other says "NO!! Are you crazy?" The first guy replies "Hey, a hundred dollars is a hundred dollars... I'm gonna do it." So he walks in to the church, and little while later, he walks back out. The friend says "well, did you get the money?" He replies "Oh that's all you people think about, isn't it?"
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has 77.66 % from 474 votes. More jokes about: catholic, church, jewish, money, racist