In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job".
That is the story of the universe.
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Chuck Norris is the only one who has a silver goldfish.
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Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
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If you want a list of Chuck Norri's enemies, just check the extinct species list.
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Chuck norris recently received a restraining order barring him from getting closer then half a mile from Satan.
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Kryptonite is ancient Latin for Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris dropped the apple on Isaac Newtons Head.
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Did you know the Dinosaurs crossed Chuck Norris?
But only once.
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The true reason why the Nazi's lost the war was because they stopped trying after they found out Chuck Norris had a summer home in Russia.
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Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
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Originally Chuck Norris was in the cast of "The Expendables" but the movie was only 3 seconds long because there was nothing left to kill.
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