In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
Anybody can outdo the impossible, but nobody can outdo Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can eat just one pringle.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Chuck Norris has sneezing allergies in the mid-to-late fall. This time is typically referred to as hurricane season.
When Chuck Norris falls over, the ground needs a band-aid
Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine. We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
I named my dog Chuck Norris, but I couldn't train him because no one tells Chuck Norris what to do.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to mow his lawn, He dares the grass to grow.