In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job".
That is the story of the universe.
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Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
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Chuck Norris knows what pi tastes like.
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Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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If you want to commit suicide, all you need to do is say,"Chuck Norris is a loser."
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Chuck Norris can skip a sound track on the radio if he doesn't like it.
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Chuck Norris once walked in the opposite direction in the Running of the Bulls.
The bulls turned around and ran for their lives.
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Chuck Norris digs up gold - from silver linings.
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Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit.
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If you step on a crack, Chuck Norris will break your back.
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Chuck Norris can put out fire with gasoline.
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