In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job".
That is the story of the universe.
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Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died.
The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible.
All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
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Ozzy Osbourne once snorted a line of ants.
Chuck Norris once snorted a line of bricks.
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Chuck Norris became famous when he coached the American rugby and America won the fifa world cup.
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All men are born equal.
Chuck Norris was just born more equal than everyone else.
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When the fire department catches fire, they call Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once caught the Ebola virus, it's been on the run ever since.
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The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
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Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin.
Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
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Solar flares are a myth... it's really Chuck Norris' flashlight.
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When Chuck Norris breaks the speed limit, no one can put it back together again.
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