In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job".
That is the story of the universe.
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Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
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Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes.
He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
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Apple, Microsoft and Sony, among others, strive to invent the most cool device to please Chuck Norris, the fail all the time.
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Chuck Norris can access the internet from a walkie talkie.
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Justin Bieber has Chuck Norris fever!
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Chuck Norris can win an argument with his wife.
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King Kong climbed the Empire State Building because Chuck Norris was waiting at the bottom.
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Chuck Norris can set magnifying glasses on fire...using ants.
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Chuck Norris does not understand any phrase that begins with "if at first you don't succeed."
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