Give Chuck Norris a piece of coal and he'll give you back a diamond.
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Chuck Norris can bend light with a roundhouse kick.
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There was no Big Bang.
Chuck Norris arm wrestled himself and the energy produced created the universe.
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Chuck Norris won a game of chess with checker pieces.
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Chuck Norris won American Idol, only using sign language.
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Chuck Norris does not sleep.
He waits.
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The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
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Chuck Norris can win an argument with his wife.
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Chuck Norris is the only person to really have "Birthdays".
The rest of us have "Thank you Chuck for allowing me to live another year- days".
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When Chuck Norris finds fools' gold it automatically turns into real gold.
Chuck Norris is nobody's fool.
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Chuck Norris can win a game of 'Connect 4' in 3 turns.
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