Give Chuck Norris a piece of coal and he'll give you back a diamond.
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Sticks and stones may break your bones, but Chuck Norris' glare will liquify your kidney.
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Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
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Chuck Norris does not require food, drink, shelter, or sleep, only confirmed kills.
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Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
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Chuck Norris just checked out from 501... In 8 darts.
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When you have a question you check with Google.
When Google has a question they check with Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris has a question everybody better run!
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The housing market crashed because Chuck thought he was paying too much property tax.
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Chuck Norris can break air.
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