Give Chuck Norris a piece of coal and he'll give you back a diamond.
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Q: You know the Roman Empire, well how do you think it fell?
A: Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris can pull a hat out of a rabbit.
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Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
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Chuck Norris can kill a man in 52 different ways using only a ballpoint pen.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Ali Baba said "Open sesame" to open the secret entrance to the treasure, but little did he know that saying "Open Chuck Norris" opens all doors.
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Chuck Norris can fall up.
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Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes.
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Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
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Lactose is Chuck Norris intolerant.
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