Give Chuck Norris a piece of coal and he'll give you back a diamond.
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Santa Claus asks Chuck Norris for presents.
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Chuck Norris won the gold, silver and bronze medals at the Olympics.
In the same event. From home.
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When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, he gets jealous.
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When Chuck Norris finishes his workout, the gym takes a break.
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When Chuck Norris plays hide and seek, even google can't find him.
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There are no bombs, Chuck Norris just jumps out of a helicopter and punches the ground.
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I got a tattoo of Chuck Norris on my own leg... now it won't stop roundhouse kicking me in the face.
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When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does.
NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
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Nails wish they were as tough as Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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