Give Chuck Norris a piece of coal and he'll give you back a diamond.
The reason we are human is because Chuck roundhouse kicked a monkey into a higher species.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris uses a stunt double during crying scenes.
Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burnt; that would be a foolish thing for the sun to do.
Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
Q: Why are there prairies? A: Because Chuck Norris scared the trees away.
Chuck Norris was once shot. The bullet died.
Chuck Norris won a soccer game. He was the referee.
Love does not conquer all. Chuck Norris does.
Chuck Norris jokes are a oxymoron because Chuck Norris isn't a joke.