Joke #639

Is it just me, or do alligators always look like they are in the middle of a push-up?

A man runs over a cat. The cat’s address is on its collar so the man goes to apologise to the owner. He knocks on the door and a little old lady answers. The man says, ‘I’m so sorry. I’ve just run over your cat. Can I replace it?’ ‘I don’t know,’ replies the old lady. ‘How are you at catching mice?’

What’s the difference between goats and women?? Goats are always horney.

Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while before I get hard again, I just got laid by a chick.

What do you get when you cross a bumble bee with a rabbit? A honey bunny.

Q: What did the bird say after his cage fell apart? A: "Cheap, cheap!"

Why do polo bears like bald men? Because they have a great, white, bear place.

What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways? "Dead."

Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks. The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, "I think they could be bird tracks." The second blonde went to look and said, "No, I think these are deer tracks." They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!

Yo' Mama is so poor, when she goes to the park, the pigeons throw her bread.

Q:What did the polar bear say when they saw tourists in sleeping bags? A:Mmmm, sandwiches!