Joke #639

Is it just me, or do alligators always look like they are in the middle of a push-up?
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has 28.11 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal

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What do you get if you cross a skunk and a dinosaur? A stinkasaurus.
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Two flies sit on a pile of poop. One fly passes gas. The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do you mind? I'm eating here."
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Teacher: If a lion is chasing you, what would you do? Christy: I'd climb a tree. Teacher: if the lion climbs a tree? Christy: I will jump in the lake and swim. Teacher: if the lion also jumps in the water and swims after you? Christy: Teacher, are you on my side or on the lion's?
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has 79.98 % from 274 votes. More jokes about: animal, school, teacher
A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves, "What are you doing in there?" she asked. The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?" The lady confirmed, "Yes." "Well," the rabbit said, "I'm westing."
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Although cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
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What kind of cows do you find in Alaska? Eski-moos.
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The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and tells whether you are qualified to be a "manager". The questions are not that difficult. 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Wrong Answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the refrigerator. Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your actions. 3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend except one. Which animal doesn't attend? Correct Answer: The Elephant. The Elephant is in the refrigerator. This tests your memory. OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your abilities. 4. There is a river you must cross. But it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it? Correct Answer: You swim across. All the Crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting! This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes. According to Andersen Consulting World wide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong. But many pre-schoolers got several correct answers. Andersen Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most management consultants have the brains of a four-year-old.
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has 79.77 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, management, memory, work
A dog with three legs walks into a Wild West bar and says, ‘I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.’
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two cows were talking in the field. One cow says, "Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that's going around?" The other cow answers, "Yeah, makes you glad you're a penguin, doesn"t it?"
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has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, health
Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll.
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal