Joke #639

Is it just me, or do alligators always look like they are in the middle of a push-up?
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has 28.11 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Chuck Norris is the reason why This Little Piggy cried wee wee wee all the way home.
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
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has 30.36 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, food, life
A old snake goes to see his Doctor. "Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days". The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks. The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed. Doc says, "What's the problem...didn't the glasses help you?" "The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!"
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't because it won't come.
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has 31.48 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, food
How do you make a small fortune out of horses? Start off with a large fortune!
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two Bear Hunters Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin. The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another one!"
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has 37.27 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, hunting
A man walks into a bar, after buying a beer he looks around the bar and sees three men and a dog playing cards. Amazed, the man wanders over and starts watching the game. Aftere watching the game for ten minutes, the man leans over to one of the other player's and whispers " Wow, that's a really smart dog!". The man whispers backs "He isn't that smart, every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail!"
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has 79.96 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, dog, game
Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station? Because it's a mane-lion station.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel
Q. Why are fish so smart? Q. Why are fish so smart A. Because they swim in schools!
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.
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has 40.46 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, fart, women