Joke #639

Is it just me, or do alligators always look like they are in the middle of a push-up?
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has 28.11 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal

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This little snail bought a little car and took it to the body shop to have it painted. The service man asked him exactly what he wanted done, and the snail said he wanted little's s painted all around and all over his car. The service man asked him why, and the snail answered "When people see me in my car I want them to say, look at that S-Car-Go!"
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
A psychiatrist had no patients in his office and he was bored. Suddenly , the door opened slowly and a man crept into the room on four legs. His mouth was full with pieces of colored plastic. He was holding strange objects in his hands. He was dragging cables along behind himself. The doctor was glad because of the visit and exclaimed, "And what do we have here, a little snake? Come to Uncle Doctor, my snake..." The man shook his head. "Oh, sorry, I didn't notice your legs. You're a dragon, right?" The man shook his head again angrily. "Sorry... a worm?" The visitor spitted out the plastic pieces. "Go to hell, you idiot! I'm the system administrator and I came to change your LAN cable!"
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has 71.36 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: animal, computer, doctor, IT, programmer
How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling? She’s got that down-in-the-mouth look.
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has 18.30 % from 4 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man on a beach sees a shark near a child in the shallows. Ignoring personal safety, he dives in the water and, with his bare hands, kills the shark. He brings the tot to shore and is met with tumultuous applause from spectators. "Geez, mate" says a reporter "You should get a medal. What part of Australia are you from?" Modestly our hero says: "Actually I'm from England." The next days newspaper headline says "Pommy mongrel kills child's pet"
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has 71.12 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, racist
"Pa's being chased by a bull!" "Well, what in tarnation do you want me to do about it?" "Get me some film for my camera."
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has 71.25 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal
How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg? Unhoppy.
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has 38.49 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal
One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds. One of the boys said, "What is that?" "They're smart pills," said the other boy. "Eat them and they'll make you smarter." So he ate them and said, "These taste like crap." "See," said the other boy, "you're getting smarter already."
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting
What do you call fish poop? BassTurds!
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has 22.04 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row. The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Yesterday I saw a man trying to chat up a cheetah. ‘Hello,’ I thought. ‘He’s trying to pull a fast one.’
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has 34.78 % from 6 votes. More jokes about: animal