Joke #6606

A man took a poop in a gas station and then realized there was no toilet paper. There was a hole in the wall and a sign above it that read: "When you go to the bathroom, wipe yourself with your index finger, stick it through this hole and it will be thoroughly cleaned." The man did exactly what the sign said, but when he stuck his finger through the hole, someone at the other side slapped two bricks together against his finger and because of the pain he stuck his finger in his mouth and started to suck on it.

Q: Why are men like diapers? A: They are always on your ass and full of sh*t, and thankfully, they're disposable.

Q: What did the butcher say when he backed into the meat-grinder? A: Looks like I'm getting a little behind in my work!

Say, "Do I smell popcorn?" right after you fart. So everybody takes a big whiff.

Q: What's the difference between a cook and a gay? A: The cook stirs today's lunch, whereas the gay stirs yesterday's dinner.

Two flies sit on a pile of poop. One fly passes gas. The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do you mind? I'm eating here."

Q: What's the difference between hockey player and hippie girl? A: Hockey player will take shower after 3 periods.

Knock knock. Who's there? Urine. Urine who? Urine trouble if you don't open the door.

If I wanted some comeback, I'd wipe it off your chin!

A guy admired the hair of three girls. He walked by one and asked, "How'd you get such lovely blonde hair" Taking her hand and gently running it through her hair, the girl answered, "It's natural." The guy walked by the second girl and asked, "How'd you get such pretty brown hair?" Fluffing her hair, the second girl said, "It's natural." Finally the guy approached the third girl and asked, "How'd you get such cool green hair?" Taking her hand and rubbing it up past her nose, then skimming it through the hair, she said, "It's natural."

Q: Why did the gay guy think his lover was cheating on him? A: He came home shit faced.