Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an ESC key on his computer, no one ever escapes.
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When Chuck Norris watches TV it changes the channel for him when he asks just out of fear.
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Despite popular belief, there is no such thing as a tornado.
Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks.
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Chuck Norris is Darth Vaders father.
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Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.
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Chuck Norris has no freezer. He stares at food and they freeze with fear.
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The dinosaurs aren't extinct.
They're just hiding from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris invented the internet so that he could reach his enemies, preferably ninjas.
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Chuck Norris can break air.
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