Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
Chuck Norris is what you get when you open a can of whoop-butt.
Chuck Norris thinks that anyone who can't survive cranial impact with a steam hammer simply isn't making an effort.
It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured. It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
If Chuck Norris ever opened a restaurant, the only thing on the menu would be knuckle sandwiches and eye of roundhouse steaks.
When Chuck Norris plays the game Clue, the answer is always everyone in every room with a roundhouse kick!
Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen. Twice.
Chuck Norris bowled a perfect game... While using a golf ball.
Chuck Norris put his phone on air-plane mode and flew it.
Chuck Norris is another name for Terror.