Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
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Chuck Norris does not play computer games, he makes games play computer!
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Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can run so fast he can cause time travel.
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Chuck Norris can make a pound cake with only an ounce.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a Facebook, he has a Fistbook...
No one's his friend.
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Chuck Norris can breath out with his nose and breath in with his mouth at the same time.
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According to CNN, Chuck Norris was commanding the SEAL team in Afghanistan.
When Osama found that out, he shot himself in the head.
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Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee.
This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian.
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Chuck Norris can eat food while his mouth is closed.
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