Chuck Norris can see ultra-violet light.
On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
Chuck Norris called McDonald's through the television.
Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Chuck Norris beat Super Mario Galaxie 2 in the big dipper... before Nintendo was invented.
There are no weapons of mass destruction. Just Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not go fishing, the fish surrender.
Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.
Chuck Norris puts the 'laughter' in 'manslaughter'.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear flowers in his hair when he goes to San Francisco, he wears poison ivy.
Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.