Joke #6682

Q: What did one butt cheek say to the other? A: Together, we can stop this sh*t.

Knock knock. Who's there? Urine. Urine who? Urine trouble if you don't open the door.

What did Obi Wan say when Luke was constipated? "Use the F-O-R-C-E Luke!"

What's small, and red, and full of holes? A baby on a bed of nails.

Three little old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a flasher came by in only an overcoat and opened it as wide as it could go. The first little old lady had a stroke, the second little old lady also had a stroke, but the third little old lady couldn't reach.

Why did God give women legs? So they don't leave a trail like a slug.

Q: Why do men fart louder than women? A: because they have a microphone and two speakers.

I got home to see my two months pregnant wife crouched in the bathroom crying. Her red, smudged eyes looked at me as she told me she'd lost the baby. I told the silly thing not to be so upset, I could clearly see it in the toilet.

There was an old married couple who love each other very much. But each morning as he was waking up the husband let out a huge nasty wet fart with his wife right in the bed next to him. The wife always says "One day you're going to fart your guts out if you don't stop." Then one day the wife snapped she won't take it anymore and she got up extra early when downstairs and got the guts out of a turkey and put it in the bed behind. She went back downstairs to wait and then she heard the loud disgusting fart all the way down the stairs and then she hears nothing for a long while. Just as she's about to go upstairs and check on her husband he comes stomping down the steps and he says "Honey you were right after I get my guts out but with the grace of God and these two fingers I managed to shove them back up there again."

Q: Did you hear about the new movie "Constipation?" A: It hasn't come out yet.

Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy instead of Spot? Because he didn't want people running around the White House saying, "come Spot, come Spot!"