Joke #4065

A dog goes into a job centre and asks for employment. ‘Wow, a talking dog,’ says the clerk. ‘With your talent I’m sure we can find you a job at the circus.’ ‘The circus?’ says the dog. ‘What does a circus want with a plumber?’
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a firefighter's helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat. The firefighter walked over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire truck," the firefighter said with admiration. "Thanks," the girl replied. The firefighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles. "Little partner," the firefighter said, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster." The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."
Vote: has 71.76 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, cat, dog, work
Why God did made the snake before lawyers? To exercise.
Vote: has 16.16 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, god, lawyer
While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,"Are there any gators around here?!" "Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!" "Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy,"How'd you get rid of the gators?" "We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got 'em."
Vote: has 52.38 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, fish, sport
How about we spank each other and call ourselves even?
Vote: has 18.69 % from 7 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
Vote: has 70.45 % from 48 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
This guy sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the mutt replies. "So, what's your story?" The mutt looks up and says, "Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired." The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. The owner says, "Ten dollars." The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him, so cheap?" The owner replies, "He's such a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff."
Vote: has 63.66 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: airplane, animal, dog, money, work
Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
Vote: has 65.20 % from 47 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, duck
Q: Why do hippos have to have sex in water? A: Ever try to keep two tons of pussy wet?
Vote: has 35.23 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
Yo momma is so hairy when she lifts her armpit up it looks like she's got Bigfoot in a headlock.
Vote: has 58.51 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, insulting, ugly, Yo mama