Joke #6713

How do you make a group of lawyers to smile for a photo? Just say, "Fees."

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist? A: Terrorists have sympathisers.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to build a wall? A: Depends on how deep you stack them.

Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and started putting them on. The second lawyer looked at him and said, "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!" "I don't have to," the first lawyer replied. "I only have to outrun you."

How do you call 5000 lawyers dead at the seashore? A good start...

Lawyer: ‘Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?’ Client: ‘After hearing you in court, I’m beginning to think I didn’t.’

Q: Why have scientists started using lawyers for experiments instead of rats? A: They don't become so attached to the lawyers.

A lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination of a witness, stopped and said: "I object, Your Honor! One of the jurors is asleep." The Judge ruled: "You put him to sleep… You wake him up."

How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire? Both of them.

What’s the difference between two lawyers in a Porsche and a porcupine? The porcupine has pricks on the outside.

Two attorneys were walking out of a bar and a beautiful young lady walks by. One attorney turns to his associate and comments "Boy, I would like to fuck her! The other attorney thinks for a second and said "Out of what"?