What US state has the most cows?
Moosouri.
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Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
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A teacher was giving a lesson and was telling the pupils that we came from Adam and Eve.
A hand went up and the kid said, "But my dad told me that we come from apes, Miss?"
Miss replied, "Stay out of this one, Leroy!"
The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
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Little Johnny walks in on his mother in the bathtub.
He asks his mother what is the big fuzzy patch below her bellybutton.
She replies, "A bush."
The next day Little Johnny walks in on his father while he's in the shower.
He asks, "What is that big long thing hanging between your legs?"
His father replies, "It is a snake."
A few days later, Little Johnny walks in on his mother, once again in the bathtub. He asks, "What are those two baggy things hanging above your bellybutton?" She replies, "Headlights."
A couple weeks go by and the little boy walks in on his parents having sex.
He yells, "Mom, turn on your headlights! The snake is crawling into your bush!"
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You said this horse could jump as high as a ten foot fence and he can't jump at all.
Well neither can a fence!
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
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When Chuck Norris walks into a room, the mice jump on chairs.
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How much money did the bronco have?
Only a buck!