What did the bunny want to do when he grew up?
Join the Hare Force.
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Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks."
The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks."
"No. Those are deer tracks."
They keep arguing, and arguing, about half hour later they were both killed by a train.
Q: Why do women have 2% more brains then a cow?
A: So, when you pull their tits they won't shit on the floor.
How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites?
They take a gallop poll!
Q: why did the cow cross the road?
A: So he could pass the milkyway.
A baby polar bear goes up to his dad and asks, "Dad, am I pure polar bear?"
The dad replies, "Sure you are son.
Im all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, your mom is all polar bear, and her parents are all polar bear."
Still unsure the baby polar bear goes to his mom and asks, "Mom, am I pure polar bear?"
She answers, "Of course you are honey.
Im all polar bear, your father is all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, and his parents are all polar bear."
Still not convinced the baby polar bear goes to his grandparents and asks, "Grandmom...Grandpop...am I all polar bear?"
His grandmother answers, "Of course you are sweetie.
Were all polar bear, your mother is all polar bear, your father is all polar bear, and his parents are all polar bear.
Why do you ask sweetie?" The baby polar bears replies, "Because I m feeling **** cold and freezing!"
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
Vote:
Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse.
He uses a lion.
Vote:
Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-day!
A snail is walking down the road, when all of a sudden two turtles appear.
They rough up the snail, take his money, and leave him for dead.
Months later in the courtroom, after the two turtles have been arrested, the judge asks the snail to describe what happened on the night of the assault.
The snail says, "Gee, I would love to, your honor, but it all happened so fast!"