What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
When you take sausage out of the fridge it doesn't fart.
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How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a used tampon and ask him what period it came from.
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Q: Who is brave?
A: He who has diarrhea and wants to fart!
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Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison?
A: "I feel like a kid again."
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I was having a shit in the train toilet today, when some bloke knocked on the door.
He said, "Can I see your ticket please?"
"Not right now" I shouted, "I'm having a shit!"
He said, "I don't believe you, can you pass it under the door?"
"No problem," I said, sliding it under. "The yellow bits are sweetcorn."
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An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra.
The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?”
The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.”
The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.”
The elderly gentleman said, “That’s all right. I don’t need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes.”
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What's the best thing about a Siamese twin baby?
Threesomes.
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What's red and sits in a corner?
A baby playing with a razor blade.
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What did the dad say when his son said, "Dad I'm tired of walking in circles?"
"Shut up kid or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."
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Little Johnny: "I've piss may I go out?"
Teacher : "Piss is an impolite word instead you say I've number 1."
Jimmy: "May I go out? I want to shit."
Teacher: "Shit is also a bad word it is better to use number 2 instead."
Ronald: "There is a wind in my belly give me please a number for it."
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Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A: After 10 years the job still sucks.
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