Joke #6940

A man is moaning to his mate that he never has any luck with pulling women. His mate tells him he has a chat up line that never fails, no matter how good looking the women are he always ends up in bed with them. Great says his mate, what is it! Just walk up to any woman you fancy and say, "Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion! Does this damp piece of cloth smell like chloroform to you?"

Boy: "Hey baby, what's your sign?" Girl: "Do Not Enter!"

Question: Why do men die before their wives? Answer: Because they want to.

Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera? Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.

Women need a reason to have sex - men just need a place.

What do men and sperm have in common? They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.

Q: Why shouldn't Men using iron supplements take Viagra? A: It may cause them to spin around and point north.

I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper, and a guy comes over and asks "Are you reading that?" I didn’t know what to say. So I said yes. I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again.

A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.

A man goes to the doctor with a piece of lettuce dangling from his rectum. "That looks nasty," says the doctor. "Nasty?" the man says. "That's just the tip of the iceberg."

Why does a penis have a hole at the end? So guys can be open-minded.