Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one has to drop off, otherwise they are all going to fall. They were not able to choose that person, but then the woman made a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as woman she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, and for men in general, without ever getting anything in return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping their hands.
A man goes to the vet about his dog's fleas. The vet says: "I'm sorry, I'll have to put this dog down." The man is incredulous and asks why. The vet says: "Because he's far too heavy."
Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage? Because they are tired of using their own.
Q: What do you call a group of men found drowned in a wine vat? A: The Grape-full Dead!
Statistics say that women think they are smarter than men because they can fake orgasms. Men say "Big deal. We can fake a whole relationship just for a shag."
What is gross stupidity? 144 men in one room.
If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons.
Men are like guns. Keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.
Do you know why bankers are good lovers? They know first hand the penalty for early withdrawal.
What's the difference between an intelligent man and a UFO? I don't know, I've never seen either one.
A boyfriend asks his girlfriend: "What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?" "Well, I don't know" she answers shyly. "OK, that I give you another year to think about it…"