A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath. The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?" "That's my little red sports car," said the little boy. The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?" "That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl. A few seconds later the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?" "Sure," said the little boy. The little boy's mother was down stairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said. "Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
Two men and a woman were the sole survivors of a pleasure cruise ship that sank in the Bermuda Triangle. They made it to an uninhabited island. Two weeks later the woman jumped off a cliff because she was so ashamed of what she was doing. Two weeks after that the two men buried her because they were so ashamed of what they were doing. Two more weeks passed by and the men dug her up again–being so ashamed of what they were doing.
What kind of a car does a proctologist drive? A brown Probe!
Two brunettes and a blonde are attempting to fix a roof. While they are on the roof, a herd of cattle run by and knock down the ladder and leave a big pile of poop behind. The two brunettes decide to make the blonde check how deep the poop is so they can jump down. So the blonde jumps down and yells, "It's only ankle deep." So the two brunettes jump down and scream, "What are you talking about?! It's up to our heads!" And the blonde replies, "Well, I jumped in head first."
What's grosser than gross? When you throw your underwear and it sticks to the wall. What's grosser than that? When you come back an hour later and it's moved up three feet.
Q: Why doesn't Tigger have any friends? A: He plays with Pooh.
Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters? The bull must have drug him a mile!
If you think you have shitty job, what if you were toilet paper!
Q: How can you tell if you're in a gay church? A: Only half the congregation is kneeling.
Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job? A: After 10 years the job still sucks.