There were three guys in a bar.
Two are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives.
The third remains silent.
After a while, one of the first two turned to the third and says, "Well... what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?"
"Well, on our honeymoon, I made damn sure my wife came to me on her hands and knees," he bragged and took another sip of beer.
His friends were amazed!
"What happened then?" they asked, almost in unison."
"Well, then she said, "Get the hell out from under that bed and fight like a man!" he admitted.
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Q: What was the first word out of Adam's mouth when he first saw Eve?
A: Whoa man! Thus, the word "woman" was created.
Vote:
Genie: I will grant you two wishes.
Guy: two? It's always three, right?
Genie: look at your crotch.
Guy: Damn, that's a huge dick that I have now.
Genie: I've been doing this for centuries. I know my business.
Two men walked into a restaurant, the first one asks for tea.
The second also asks for tea.
"And make sure the glass is clean," he tells the waiter.
When the waiter returns with the two glasses of tea he asks, "Which one of you asked for the clean glass?"
If you want to know why men are called the 'opposite sex', express an opinion!
2 cannibals having dinner.
1st says to 2nd, "Your wife makes a lovely stew."
2nd answers, "Yes but I will miss her."
Q: Why are there only snow men and not snow women?
A: Because only men are dumb enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
Q: Why did God create Adam before he created eve?
A: Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast.
At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better.
The man said that he actually felt worse.
“Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?” the Doc asked.
“No,” replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only do about 15 minutes!”