Joke #3332

Men come in three sizes: Small, medium, and OOoohhh yesss!

Did you hear about the man who got a vasectomy at Sears? Now every time he gets excited, the garage door goes up.

What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand? A man's undivided attention.

If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons.

Wife: "I have to tell you something. I'm pregnant." Husband: "Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad." Wife: "No, you are not."

Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men? A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts." The doctor asks, "What do you mean?" The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts." The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you. You've broken your finger!"

My wife was dying. I was by her bedside. She said in a tired voice, "Theres something I must confess." "Shhh" I said, "theres nothing to confess. Everythings alright." "No I must die in peace. I had s*x with your brother, your best friend, his best friend and your father!" "I know," I whispered "Thats why i posion you, now close your eyes!"

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.

Man to a woman: "Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?" Woman: "No." Man: "Lets have lunch sometime…"

''Dyslexic man walks into a bra''