Men come in three sizes: Small, medium, and OOoohhh yesss!
After spending 20 minutes trying to get my wife's bra off, I decided to give up, I wish I'd never put it on now.
A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of? Dating children.
Why do jocks play on artificial turf? To keep them from grazing.
A woman went shopping. She walks to checkout counter and then the salesman packs all her groceries: milk, cheese, orange juice, half of bread, bar of soap, toothpaste... All of a sudden the salesman asks her: "You're single, aren't you?" A bit surprised woman smiles and answers: "That's right, but how did you guessed that?" "Because you're so ugly."
How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? Make him wear shoes.
Q: What is difference between man and Superman? A: Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.
Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women? When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
He: Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way. She: Well, you succeeded.
Men are born between the legs of women and spend all their life trying to get back between them. Why? Theres no place like home ...
What did God say after creating man? I can do better.